Okay, so I've been making fun of this song they play at Fenway since at least 2005, but I don't think I've ever done a full post about it. I'm talking about the god-awful country song about "having the time of my life at Fenway." You've heard it, they play it before every game. I'm not talking about that other god-awful coountry-ish song called "Play Ball," which is played right after the lucky kid says "play ball" way too close to the mic minutes before first pitch. The lyrics to that one, and the song itself, can be found here.

The one I'm talking about seems to have been written by a fellow who not only has never been to Fenway Park, but has never even heard from a friend what goes on there, or seen a game on TV taking place there. I went to search it by its lyrics, but it's nowhere to be found online. So I'm gonna have to do this from memory. Listen to these lines:

The main chorus is "I'm doin' all right, doin' okay, havin' the time of my life at Fenway, where the heroes play and the legends live, I'm lovin' it all, havin' a ball again." Okay, that works, but it also works anywhere. (Note that I just mean the lyrics "work." The music itself is offensively modern-country.)

But then we've got "somebody in the upper deck just started doin' the wave." First of all, we don't call our upper levels "the upper deck." In fact, there were hardly any seats up there at all until recently. You wouldn't just casually mention the "upper deck" if you had any knowledge of Fenway Park. Second, yes, The Wave never left Fenway, but it is almost consistently started in the bleachers. Waves don't get started in the pavilion/emc levels.

"the color red is everywhere"

No it's not. I remember when Kevin Millar got here saying something about how he can't wait to "see all that red," and right around that time, new ownership did try to put more red into the Red Sox, with more red merchandise, the red alternate jersey, and red underclothes. But the most common colors we've seen on the field have been white, gray, and blue (the hat) for our entire lives. People in the crowd are usually wearing a blue hat, with either a red, white, blue, or gray shirt or jersey. And when it rains, you get the classic yellow raincoats. And in April or October, usually a dark-colored coat. We just don't do that college thing of all wearing the same color. And the walls and field are green. So basically, the color red is closer to "nowhere" than "everywhere" inside Fenway Park. (Obviously there is also a lot of brick, but those are red just because bricks are red. And the field box seats are red, but you can't see the seats when people are in them.)

"we've got this whole place rollin', just like a crimson tide"

See, he thinks it's college. The Alabama Crimson Tide fans wear red, just like my college team's fans, the legendary "Sea of Red" you see at Nebraska games. Either that or this dude is from Alabama and threw in "crimson tide" as a nod to his state, and the type of people who would like a shitty song like this.

"we wave our rally towels"

That's the clincher. If you weren't buying my theory until then, now you know--this man has never sniffed Fenway Park. We couldn't possibly wave "our" rally towels because we don't own and have never even been offered "rally towels," and even if we were offered them, we wouldn't buy them. (As evidenced by the failed "sox supporters" from around the time the Homer Hankie was popular, which were socks on a stick.)

"got baseball, beer, and rock 'n' roll, what else could anyone need?"

Maybe some actual rock 'n' roll, as opposed to the decidedly country sound of this song! Back when we first heard this song, Pat and I had this idea that it may have been written/performed by Kevin Millar's brother, who I think was a country singer or something. It would make sense on several levels: 1. It's a country song. 2. No one seems to have heard of it outside of Fenway Park. 3. He thinks everybody at Fenway wears red like Millar, and knows nothing about Fenway, also like Millar until he got to Boston. So maybe Kevin said, "Dude, just use the normal baseball cliches--the upper deck, rally towels, but uh, I think they all wear red so just mention that and you're gold."

So, I hesitate to ask, but does anyone know the title/artist or any other info about this travesty?