Friday, March 20, 2009

Pick Your Manny

After reading the Joy of Sox review of the Manny book and discussing it, I've got Manny on the mind. I thought of an exercise you can try in the comfort of your own home. It's called Pick Your Manny. Here's how you play:

While watching your team play over a period of time, pick one guy and pretend he's Manny Ramirez. Go into each game thinking your guy is the one everyone's watching closely with the assumption that he doesn't know what the hell he's doing, doesn't try, goofs up constantly at the field, you know, all the lies WEEI and friends made up about Manny. I think you'll find that the guy you pick will do all the stuff we're told only Manny would do (while not hitting nearly as well!).

There just haven't been enough games on TV/ this season yet for me to have fully attempted this exercise, but look at Jason Bay*, for example. In one game, he attempted to throw a guy out at home, and the ball must have slipped because it went right to the ground, bouncing well before it reached even the cutoff man, leaving Bay with a stupified look on his face. I've also heard about his contract talks coming to a halt. (Remember to use off-field stuff, too!) The point being that if it were Manny, we'd hear about how he can't be grateful and just take the millions and want to stay here--surely Bay and his scheming ways will be a year-long distraction to the team! Yeah, right.

So Pick Your Manny in '09. If your Manny is Derek Jeter, you'll notice he hasn't caught a pop-up with two hands in the 14 years he's been playing. If your Manny is David Ortiz, you'll have fun watching as not only will he trot to first base on a grounder, but sometimes he won't get to first at all! If your Manny is A-Rod, well, you're making the game way too easy, so pick someone else.

The worst was when I read some article about Jeter saying how he always talks to the kids in the front row while on deck. The author used this as a way of showing how Derek appreciates his role. So when Manny is constantly waving to and pointing at fans, it's because he's goofy and isn't concentrating and doesn't even know there's a game going on, but when Jeter does it, it's because he comprehend(s) how lucky he is to be playing a game and making millions doing it. He's class, all the way...

But hey, what else would you expect from a New York pa--I mean, the Boston Globe!

*I'm not trying to pick on Bay, I have no reason not to like the guy.


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Location: Rhode Island, United States