Wednesday, March 11, 2009

...And The Rest

"and on the 7th day--and during the goddamn All-Star break, God rested." --Jere 19:80

Did you see the special on Josh Hamilton? Yeah, I avoided it, too. But I did flip to it and leave it on for a few minutes during the part where Josh is on the field during the Home Run Derby. He's got microphones around him, so you can hear him as he's getting ready to hit in the final round. Now, obviously this dude is a God-guy, what with the 12 steps and all, but I was still surprised to hear him talking to his boy upstairs:

"Lord, if just making it this far is what you had planned for me, I'll accept that, as I've already reached my goal..."

Something like that. Why was I surprised? Because it's an exhibition! When do let your god just take a vacation already? It's insane enough to think that every player thinks god is rooting for their team--if it's not even crazier to think that if god does exist, he or she or it actually cares which team wins in the first place! And you're out there talking to him during an event that doesn't even count?

I'm a firm believer in doing it all by yourself. But if I did have some invisible being, whether it was something I just made up or something I learned about in some kind of religious or spiritual studies, that I felt helped me with my life...I'd give him the All-Star break off!

Hamilton should've gotten to the break and said, "God, thanks for everything--you'll be happy to know I've got three days off, during which I've been selected to take place in a fun exhibition contest. If you wanna make sure I don't accidentally fall on a syringe filled with sweet, sweet heroin, go ahead and do that. But I won't be requiring your services on the field until Thursday. Feel free to take this time to let some other baseball players win games that count, maybe in Japan or Little League, or just take a little vacay for yourself. Or better yet, STOP WATCHING BASEBALL AND SAVE THE DAMN WORLD!"


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Location: Rhode Island, United States