Friday, November 14, 2008

Fun Stuff

2004 is the gift that keeps on giving. Last night I was searching my own archives for something, and came across a link I'd put up in June 2004 to another blog. I went to that blog, and the article the blogger had written was gone, but I did see her original post about it, which came with a comment from a Yankee fan. It was the usual bullcrap: "You'll finish in second again, it'll be another heartbreak." He followed this with a list of year in which bad things happened for the Red Sox.

So I went to that guy's blog. What a treat I was in for.

I've spent probably...two hours reading Yankee fan blogs. In the last five years. Total. You know I've kept tabs on that team my whole life, and I feel I probably know more about them and their history than most casual Yankee fans do. While they'd all become Mets fans in the mid-80s, I was faithfully watching and rooting against their team every night at 8 PM on channel 11, with my own team going on the radio, save for the rare nights when WVIT-30 would throw us a Red Sox bone. But even then it was: switch to channel 11, later SportsChannel and then MSG, during the commercials. So the point is, I'm sure I'd get the same thing as I saw last night on any Yankee blog--but rather than search them out, I'll happily just wait until I accidentally come across them. I have very little interest in what some random person in Hoboken has to say about Robinson Cano.

So...I won't even give the name of the blog in question, but let's get right down to the fun parts:

September 8th, 2004: He talks about the Sox' winning streaks, and ends with

the Red Sox will not go away. Well, not until October. When the Yankees beat them. Again. It's only a matter of time.

September 15th, 2004--bonus wrong-ness! I noticed he wrote:

Alex Rodriguez is about to become the first Yankee since 1975 to hit 30 homers and steal 30 bases in the same season.

I looked it up. Didn't happen. (Then again, the Yankee record book consists mainly of opinions.)

Now back to the really good stuff:

October 4th, 2004: The playoffs are about to start, and he gives us this prediction about the Red Sox-Angels series, which the Sox would sweep:

A suddenly healthy and scary Anaheim team will chew them up and spit them out.

October 7th--bonus political stuff: He outs himself as a Republican! Perfect...

October 16th, 2004, writing just after the Yanks go up three games to none against us in the ALCS:

[...] they put yet another nail in yet another Red Sox coffin, burying thir World Series hopes for one more year.

It's just a matter of time now.

Oh god, I love it! I love hearing how sure they all were! The Yankees will win because they're the Yankees and the Red Sox will lose because they're the Red Sox...

October 19th, 2004:

So the Yanks are now clinging to a 3-2 lead in the series. Assuming that they don't get rained out again, I expect the Yankees to wrap it up tonight. Here's why:

1) Jon Lieber is pitching for New York. Including the postseason, he's 12-3 with a 3.55 ERA at Yankee Stadium this year, compared to 3-5, 5.19 on the road. I don't understand it, but heck, it seems to work.

B) Curt Schilling is pitching for the Red Sox. Schilling's ankle, as you may recall, apparently consists of a lot of bailing twine and chewing gum, not unlike Curtis Leskanic's shoulder or Manny Ramirez' hair. I don't care if he wears the damn Ruby Slippers on the mound tonight, he won't be able to pitch well.


d) No one has ever, in the history of professional baseball, come back from a 3-0 deficit to win a 7-game series. Ever. And it's not gonna start now.

V) The Curse. No, not the stupid Curse of the Bambino. That's just an excuse for poor performance and/or bad luck. I'm talking about the Curtis Curse. No team with two pitchers named Curtis has EVER gotten to the World Series. Curt Schilling and Curtis Leskanic can wrap their bodies in as much duct tape and super glue as they want, it won't erase 100+ years of baseball history!

Yeah! Tell it like you want it to be, brother! Bring on Game 6! I'm on the edge of my seat, ya dope!

October 21st, 2004: He just posts a pic of the celebrating Sox, with the caption:

Maybe not.

October 27th, 2004: After a long summary of the ALCS, complete with such gems as "the Yanks weren't themselves," and a summary of the first three World Series games, of which three Boston wins "could've been expected" because odds are against the team with the best record (whatever you say, guy), he adds my favorite piece of all:

[...] if this pattern holds up, the Red Sox will be due to win another World Series 86 years from now. We'll both have reason to celebrate: the Red Sox their sixth World Championship, and me, my impending 116th birthday!

See you in 2090.

The arrogance. The assholiness. The scumbaginess. All hiding the desperation. The suicidal thoughts. The knowledge that their world has been flipped upside-down. Every time you hear someone say "oh I don't hate the Yanks that much" or "the rivalry's not that important these days," remind them of this stuff. There is one evil in baseball, and it's the Yanks.

I looooove the 2090 thing. 1918 was real. Granted, it had no relevance on any game played between 1919 and 2004, but at least it was the truth. We hadn't won since then. Fact. They had every right to point that out. But the nerve of those fucking scumbag motherfuckers, to ASSUME that the Red Sox wouldn't win for 86 years, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY WANTED IT TO BE THAT have to have a serious mental deficiency of some kind of self-esteem issues or something. They even printed up hats and T-shirts--a few of which I saw being worn AFTER 2007! Some of them are not only pricks, they're shit-for-brains pricks.

And I love how it's because of "the pattern." Okay, start in 1918 and count up, sure. But who starts a pattern at an arbitrary point and acts like it refers to all of history? The Red Sox won five titles between 1903 and 1918, then again in 2004. I'd say the pattern (again, this is completely irrelevant, but just to disprove their fake theory) would have us winning six more titles in the following 102 seasons! Or, hey, want me to choose a random point like you did? How about a pattern starting atthe beginning of 2004. We won, so therefore, we should win in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, and so on. Put all that shit on a t-shirt, dickwad.

But all this is based on an assumption. One they treated as if it were fact. In other words, something only a pompous-ass Yankee fan would do. 1918 was real; 2090 would only require one lousy championship in the following 85 years to shit all over. It took us three. Ha! Fuck you, fucksticks! It's as if they thought they had predicted it would take us 86 years to win the first time, and having been proven correct, went out and predicted it again! No! You can't make fun of someone for the fact that YOU THINK they won't succeed for a long time! It doesn't work. If you try it, people see you as CRA-ZY. Imagine if I thought my neighbor wouldn't get that job promotion until the year 3000. (You know, like the one he JUST GOT last year.) And I mocked him every time I saw him, "3000, motherfucker! Haha!" Do you see how I would be considered the insane one, and he would be, well, the guy who just accomplished what you're making fun of him accomplishing....again...for the next however many years...which haven't happened yet?

So I'd say that 2007 is truly the gift that keeps on giving, but screw that--that would be admitting that we somehow needed to win AGAIN to make Yankee fans....what is it they're supposed to be doing? Kissing our asses? Look, I said it before we won in 2004--if we win a World Series, they'll just say something like, "Oh, well sure, let's see you do it again." Nope--"1918" was you telling us, over and over, that we hadn't won for oh so long. In 2004, we did win. For real. No backsies. You're done. You lose. We did it in a way where I really thought they'd keep they're mouths shut, but the fact that they didn't means they never will no matter what happens. And about that, I don't give a rat's butt. As I've said before, I used to think our drought made them arrogant. Turns out they were arrogant regardless.

His next post would be November 6th. No mention of the outcome of the '04 World Series, just a post about his pick for AL MVP (Vlad Guerrero, because "all he did was win." Yeah, except for when he lost. To the Red Sox. After you guaranteed they wouldn't.)

A search of his posts from October 2007 make no mention of or apology regarding "2090."

However, a search on "Obama" turned this up:

[his spouse/partner] and I have decided that we both like VP nominee Sarah Palin, for a number of reasons, not the least of which are her Christian background and strong Pro-Life stance. As Christians ourselves and hopeful parents-to-be, this makes us happy.


The usual disclaimer: Not all Yankee fans are dickwads, motherfuckers, fucksticks, etc, especially not my family and friends who happen to have been born with the brain defect of rooting for that particular ballclub. Just the ones that are. Are.
Gotta say I'm surprised he put up a pic of the ALCS champ Sox on October 21. Now, though, I'm sure he'd say it never happened (2004).
Wow, Jere, well written. We all loved it, but he WROTE it! The smiles were priceless.
GREAT post, Jere. That Yankee blogger is exactly the reason the Yankees are so hated: their smug, jackass fans.

I've only seen that "2090" crap exactly once since 2004, and it was a hat worn by some woman outside of Ground Zero a couple of years ago. It wasn't the time or place to let her know what I thought of it.

But like "1918" or that "Curse" BS, it's now obsolete.

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