Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Epitome
Have you ever read my blog and said "I just can't figure out why this Jere guy hates the Yankees so much. I mean, what is it really? I know he says it a lot and cites examples, but I'm just not fully grasping it. If only there was one specific piece of, say, video, that completely and unequivocally shows just...what...the hell...is so utterly ridiculous and hatable about that one organization. One that makes you laugh out loud while bile flies onto your computer screen. One that proves once and for all that what they stand for represents the exact opposite of what he does. Is that too much to ask?"?
Well, you're in luck. Just watch.
It's got it all:
1. A fairly obvious error called a hit for a Yankee batter.
2. A record for the sake of records. (Had you ever heard a "most hits in a certain stadium" stat before?)
3. A league official clearly influenced by a loud Yankee Stadium crowd.
4. Overdramatization of an unspectacular, inevitable moment.
5. Michael Kay going for the Emmy.
6. Derek Jeter made out to be Superman for hitting a ground ball to third base.
7. Organizational self-importance.
8. Again, is anyone seeing anything other than a ground ball to third base?
9. Made-up shit. (Gehrig got his hits in the "real" Yankee Stadium, pre-'74-'75 "renovation," anyway.)
10. The team captain putting on a false humility routine.
11. Hey, do you think he'd have broken the record without all the other hometown scoring gifts he's gotten in the last 13 years? And does he also hold the "most cheap hits by any player in any stadium ever" record?
12. Has this list lost its way in the dark, Yankee woods? You get the point, though, right?
But they'll always be the classiest organization.
Well, you're in luck. Just watch.
It's got it all:
1. A fairly obvious error called a hit for a Yankee batter.
2. A record for the sake of records. (Had you ever heard a "most hits in a certain stadium" stat before?)
3. A league official clearly influenced by a loud Yankee Stadium crowd.
4. Overdramatization of an unspectacular, inevitable moment.
5. Michael Kay going for the Emmy.
6. Derek Jeter made out to be Superman for hitting a ground ball to third base.
7. Organizational self-importance.
8. Again, is anyone seeing anything other than a ground ball to third base?
9. Made-up shit. (Gehrig got his hits in the "real" Yankee Stadium, pre-'74-'75 "renovation," anyway.)
10. The team captain putting on a false humility routine.
11. Hey, do you think he'd have broken the record without all the other hometown scoring gifts he's gotten in the last 13 years? And does he also hold the "most cheap hits by any player in any stadium ever" record?
12. Has this list lost its way in the dark, Yankee woods? You get the point, though, right?
But they'll always be the classiest organization.
Comments:
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Typical government at work BS. Keep pushing more and more of the wealth out of the average guys hands and into the hands of those who already have more than any one human could ever possibly use.
Wait, did that sound socialist? Oh dear....
We still win the D. A win tonight and I'll stake actual monies on it, something I almost never do. But I really believe by winning that 1 on Monday we've given ourselves the edge. Even if we leave Tampa down 2 I think we'll take it.
Of course, I could be tripping
Wait, did that sound socialist? Oh dear....
We still win the D. A win tonight and I'll stake actual monies on it, something I almost never do. But I really believe by winning that 1 on Monday we've given ourselves the edge. Even if we leave Tampa down 2 I think we'll take it.
Of course, I could be tripping
I've been successfully getting people to use "jeter" as a verb, even in non-baseball contexts. As in "I really jetered my way through that exam" or "she totally jetered us into coming to this thing with promises of free food." People who haven't heard it before still automatically know jeter=cheap/undeserved accomplishment, so that's something.
Have you ever read my blog and said "I just can't figure out why this Jere guy hates the Yankees so much...."?
Nope. That would be like asking myself, "I just can't figure out why this Jere guy uses verbs in his sentences when he writes."
4. Overdramatization of an unspectacular, inevitable moment.
5. Michael Kay going for the Emmy.
Well, I didn't watch your video (yet), but a classic Michael Kay moment that captures the essence of your points in #4 and #5 occurred a few weeks ago, when the Red Sox were playing in what must have been the "fake" Yankee Stadium, although at the time the false nature of the park eluded my notice. One of the good guys (I think it was Bay) hit a drive to right-center field, and the RF the Yanks had out there - Matsui or Abreu or whoever - ran back, mis-timed an unnecessary jump, and missed the ball. Bay ended up with a three-base hit. But Michael Kay droned on and on about what a great effort the outfielder made (it was ordinary) and what a great play would have been if he had made the catch (it would have been a decent catch but nothing more). He even repeated himself when the replay confirmed that the ball could have been caught if it hadn't been misjudged.
Michael Kay knows that if what's happening on the field is crap, one can always talk about the almost-great things, and some of the people listening might go along with it.
Anyway, it comes down to this: as easily as we breathe, we get the whole animosity-toward-the-Yanks. We drink deeply of it and we share it. Now, gotta check out that video...
Nope. That would be like asking myself, "I just can't figure out why this Jere guy uses verbs in his sentences when he writes."
4. Overdramatization of an unspectacular, inevitable moment.
5. Michael Kay going for the Emmy.
Well, I didn't watch your video (yet), but a classic Michael Kay moment that captures the essence of your points in #4 and #5 occurred a few weeks ago, when the Red Sox were playing in what must have been the "fake" Yankee Stadium, although at the time the false nature of the park eluded my notice. One of the good guys (I think it was Bay) hit a drive to right-center field, and the RF the Yanks had out there - Matsui or Abreu or whoever - ran back, mis-timed an unnecessary jump, and missed the ball. Bay ended up with a three-base hit. But Michael Kay droned on and on about what a great effort the outfielder made (it was ordinary) and what a great play would have been if he had made the catch (it would have been a decent catch but nothing more). He even repeated himself when the replay confirmed that the ball could have been caught if it hadn't been misjudged.
Michael Kay knows that if what's happening on the field is crap, one can always talk about the almost-great things, and some of the people listening might go along with it.
Anyway, it comes down to this: as easily as we breathe, we get the whole animosity-toward-the-Yanks. We drink deeply of it and we share it. Now, gotta check out that video...
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