Thursday, July 17, 2008

Two Weird Takes On Athletes And Money

I'm getting sick of free agent athletes saying their main concern when choosing a team is a good chance to win a title. 90% of the time, it's about the team who gives them the most money. Even the athletes who are really good people and try to set an example for kids do this. What's the message? Loyalty: bad. Greed: good. Because that's all it is when you take 10 million bucks instead of 8 million.

You can do all the charity work you want, but maybe a better message to send would be that a person only needs so much. Teaching kids to do something that makes them money is fine if that's what you wanna do, I mean, they're gonna need it to survive, for the most part. But it's way more important to teach them that money isn't everything.

People always say, Hey, if someone offered you millions of dollars, you'd take it, too. How do you know? I like to think if I had A MILLION dollars right now, and somebody offered me a little more to do something I didn't want to do, I'd tell 'em to fuck off. (Or maybe have my solid gold robot servant to convey the message.)

I'd love to see an athlete say, I'm gonna go to this team because I really want to. They've offered me two extra million dollars, which I don't need, so ALL that money will be immediately transferred to [whatever charity].

Maybe it's just me. I'm the type of person who thinks, If I suddenly had a million bucks, I wouldn't buy a Hummer just because I could. Because I don't want one. I'd just get a nice small car that gets me where I need to go, and is new so I'd know it won't break down.

But there is another side to this. What if you were a black athlete? If you knew that your grandparents were forced to be slaves. Went through absolute hell all so that a bunch of white people didn't have to get up to get a lemonade. Were treated like animals instead of human beings. Now all of a sudden a rich, old white man wants to pay you a couple MORE million dollars. Would it be wrong to say, Hell yeah, I'll take your money, and set up my kids and grandkids so that they can have honkies serving THEM. I wouldn't blame somebody for doing that at all.

But then you have to include Jewish athletes, and basically anybody else whose people were oppressed. So, my conclusion is, white guys of English and/or German descent should stop being so greedy. Other guys, take what you can get, but do it for your ancestors, as a way of stickin' it to the man. No, wait. The amount of oppressed blood in your ancestry should be directly proportional to the amount of extra money you take in your life. Something like that. Conclusion: Slavery could've been avoided had solid gold robot servants been invented sooner. Terrible job, science. "TV off."


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Location: Rhode Island, United States