Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Here's A Laugher For You

Dude writes column telling Red Sox fans to "admit it, we feel bad for the Yankees."


There seems to be a little bit of tongue-in-cheek-ness to the whole thing, I guess. I mean, he is coming out and pointing out the flaws in the Yankees. You can read them and laugh. But it really seems like the guy is honestly expecting us to say, Hmmmm, you're right, I do feel kinda sorry for them.


I'm starting to think there's a huge faction of baseball fans who started watching around the year 2000. In their little world, the Red Sox are the team who's won the most--we HATE them. The Yankees always seem to lose in the end--we feel SORRY for them. Unfortunately, these are the people who have all the media jobs where they can tell other equally stupid people how to think. Oh well, screw 'em all. Anybody with any sense at all knows the truth.

Kim and I, over the past few nights, have been watching both Decline of Western Civilization films. There's one scene in part two in which Gene Simmons says, "people tell you it's lonely at the top...they're full of it." Earlier today, I read a quote from an author who knows a lot about candy but doesn't know shit about baseball. He said, "Red Sox fans are finding out what Yankee fans already know--it's lonely at the top."

Gene Simmons was right. My team just won the World Series--and it's AWESOME. I've got a zillion friends up here at the top of the mountain, and we're dancing like fools and spitting on the Yankee fans who litter the valley. With gigantic grins on our faces. All this bullcrap talk about us being like the Yankees is just another way to insinuate that Red Sox fans wanted to lose all along. No, we wanted to win. We have. We're happy.

Let's just say, for argument's sake, that it was somehow made "official" that it is indeed "lonely at the top," and that every team's fans know that going in. Do you think we would've said, "well, let's not root TOO hard for the Red Sox. We wouldn't want them to win and make us all LONELY...."? Eff that! Like every single fan of every single team, we root for our team to win. What is going on here? Why is the last hundred years of history erased? To call the Red Sox the "new Yankees" in 2007 would be like calling black people the "new white people" a few years after slavery was abolished. "Yeah, I felt bad for you guys while you were oppressed, but ever since you were all freed, come on, you're just like any other race." No! Wrong! I don't expect people to stop liking their team and start liking mine. But I would think they would at least realize A. what Red Sox fans went through for decades and B. that the Yankees are the only Yankees and always will be, at least until they have a slump that lasts a minimum of 86 years.

But I'm really just getting worked up about the media. I have to stop paying attention to them.....

What is happening with these people, and others like them, is that they have confused what makes Red Sox fans notable. They think that our identity is years of failure, when in fact, it is that we are loyal despite failure. Obviously, this is an important difference, since it is not a trait shared by, ahem, all the teams out there.
When the Cubs finally win, I'll be totally happy for their fans. And even if the media completely fills the airwaves and newspapers with Cub-mania, well, that's to be expected. Did people think when the Sox finally won, the story would be ignored? Or that the team's fans would immediately stop caring and therefore they'd never have to see us or hear about our stories again?
A Tale, Dripping With Sarcasm, is how I classify Alex Beam's Article.
I would certainly hope so. But it comes complete with a thing for readers to answer the question: "Do you feel pity for the Yanks?" (To which everyone naturally responded, "no.")

And maybe the guy will pass it off as having been sarcasm, but I think he really thought we'd be like, Yeah, wow, they are having it bad--you know, as if he were informing us of this because we're too stupid to be able to follow the Yankees.

Either way, the other stuff I mention in my post isn't about him, it's about what a lot of other media-types are saying, and I'd say it whether that one guy was being sarcastic or not.
There are plenty of people in this world I can find compassion for.

The New York Yankees and their obnoxious fans are NOT on that list.

Not in this, or any other lifetime.
I got a huge kick out of Beam's column...he was using the "pity them" angle as a way to show just how greatly mired in disarray they are...as in, they're so disorganized and so disheveled and so dis-Yankee-fied that we should pity them...that's how truly sad they've become. Not, oh my god, the Yankees are a helpless child, starving in Bangladesh, let's pity them...he's pointing and laughing at them the WHOLE time. The Yankees, that is, not the starving Bangladeshian...

I think that sometimes your inherent, and dare I say it, myopic, distrust of the media (which is not entirely unfounded) gets in the way of you enjoying things at face value. Just a thought...go back and reread that column without cynicism in your heart and I think you'll see it differently.
First of all, while I do tend to be anti-media, I promise you I don't go to the newspaper every day thinking, "Okay, what bullshit are you gonna feed me today?" But when I see stuff there that makes me angry, I let people know.

So it's not like I saw the title of the article, saw the words "pity" and "Yankees" together and just didn't read the thing, saying "burn this author at the stake just for the insinuation!"

Moving on--when I saw the title, I was curious. I thought, Okay, Can't be Serious. Then I started reading. I honestly was waiting for the punchline, but I never saw it. Don't you think I would LOVE an article that mocks and pretends to pity the Yanks? That's what I do here.

So, if the line about us feeling bad for "model citizen" Jason Giambi was supposed to be sarcastic, then what am I supposed to think of the line that precedes it:

"We mourned the passing of the legendary Scooter, Phil Rizzuto."

Is he saying we laughed at Scooter dying? I don't know--I saw that line and couldn't assume anything after it was suddenly sarcasm.

If the guy wanted to do a piece on how much we DON'T pity the Yanks, he really blew it. I think.
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