Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Terrible Joba

I saw this New York Post article linked on Extra Bases. Here's the premise:

One of the two AL Division Series has an extra day off. The team with the best record will have the choice of playing in the series with two days off, or the one with three. The man who wrote the article above says that if the Red Sox finish with the best record, they'll take more days off, giving the Yanks (assuming they're the Wild Card, which would also mean they couldn't play us in the DS since we're in the same division) the series with less days off. Because Jabba the Slut can't pitch two days in a row and therefore would be able to pitch less in the series. And if the Angels finish with the best record, he says they'll choose to play in the series with less days off, which they'd play against the Yanks, for the same reason. In fact, he asks if there's a "chance in the world" they wouldn't do that.

You know what that article should be called? "World 'Volves 'Round Me, Joba."

A chance in the world? Yes. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the Angels don't give a fuck about Terrible Joba the Head Hunter* and take the extra days off for themselves! And if they don't, wouldn't it be more for the reason of, say, giving Mariano Rivera less days to work with? And if the 'Huntah is doing that well, do you really think the Yanks would keep him out of the deciding game because of rules they made themselves and can break at any time?

And as for the Sox, his theory is just as dumb but for the opposite reason--it's the no-brainer of the century. "Do you want to have more days off in your series and less in the Yankees series?" Correct answer: "Yes, because we're not stupid." Incorrect Joba-centric answer: "Yes, because then Joba-ty Joba this and Joba-ty Joba that and oh Joba Joba Joba will you please come over and water my plants in skivvies while I watch you?"

I can't wait to see him at Fenway this weekend.

*Yankee fans, after your years of calling the fun-lovin', incredible Pedro Martinez (who ended up with the ring in 2004, regardless of what your memory says) a "headhunter" just because Jeter hangs over the plate and gets hit on the hands during check swing foul balls, your Joba Boy, at least on this blog (which, for some reason, you're reading right now), will be referred to as a headhunter for the next ten years, no matter what he does from here until the end of his career.

Yankee fans are such a bunch of stiffs. You might remember what the opinion of the fanbase was concerning Roger Clemens prior to 1998. They HATED him. Called him a dirty player, a headhunter, wanted him ejected every time he threw an inside pitch.

Now? I was listening to those losers Waldman and Sterling when Fatass got tossed for throwing at Alex Rios. Travesty! You can't take that weapon away from Roger Clemens! His weapon is the inside of the plate! The Yankee fanboard was loaded with the same cr ap, the exact OPPOSITE of what they all were saying 15 years ago.

Sorry, but Yankee fans shot their load when it comes to b*tching about other team's pitching proclivities when they wrapped their arms around Roger Clemens. And now they want to put Jabba up on the same pedestal. What a bunch of hypocrites.
"when they wrapped their arms around Roger Clemens."


And I was right about them reading my blog, as I quickly got a comment on this post telling me I was stupid or whatever. I'm at the point where I just reject the comments. Because if I respond, they'll (as only a Yankee fan would do) claim "Oh, I'm not even a Yankee fan, I'm an Indians fan" or whatever.
Well, if you were a Yankee fan, wouldn't YOU be telling people you were an Indians fan, too? Or even a Nats fan? Hell, I'd rather tell people that there was a serial killer loose in my neighborhood and I was the prime suspect than that I was a Yankee fan.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States