JC Romero is the only major leaguer to have the name of an empire and the initials of one of its dictators within his own name? Or maybe he isn't.

Remy with another anti-Red Sox thing tonight. Youk throws to Pedroia for the out, but the ump calls the guy safe, saying Pedroia was off the bag. Tito argues play. Remy proclaims the call is correct. Replay shows Pedroia on bag with ball firmly in glove. People producing game keep replay paused for a good three seconds, almost daring Remy to say "Whoops, I apologize, I was absolutely wrong." He stays quiet. As does Orsillo.

Captain Cheese in for the ninth. Papi doubles! We need 2.

And we've got 2! So far... Sweet!!!!

Wow, Wily Mo didn't get to second on that? So, we go bottom 9, tied. Wily Mo has takeneth and has giveneth away tonight, with his #26 wristbands...

Joely still in. I always think of what's-her-name in Eternal Sunshine. "A wino? Are you from the fifties?"

I'd have put in a non-Joely here. He does his thing--the four-pitch walk to the leadoff man. Off the team!

Avoid the "Swisher Sweet" headline, Joely. The-e fir-rst Jo-el... Come on, wino... Called strike three. Nope, ump says ball. 3-2. If you walk the first two, you really are off the team, wino. Fucking Hinske. God damn it. That was a double friggin' play.

Remy says broken bat wasn't a distraction at all. If it was Jeter he would've said it was a distraction. Let's just say a bat flying at Hinske didn't help. Here comes the Roman dictator himself. It's fate! Beware the 4th of June, JC.

Another freebie. These relievers absolutely need punishment for walks. There should be a fucking dungeon in clubhouses.

How about a triple play.... 0-2 on The Ravine... And he makes him chase for the K! Nice! Now a DP and we go extras.

Actually got it!!!!!!!!! Nice job by Youk and Tek and Hinske!!!! Extras...

I'm in "stand up and walk around" mode. I meant Mirabelli up there, not Tek. I forgot Tek PH'd for Drew, not Doug.

Pedro Iowa with a one-out hit.

This is why I love the late games. It's like I'm on night watch or something, keeping the flame lit, as if it's up to me to get the win for the morning crew.

Lugo Ks. I'd take Nomar, O-Cab, Gonzalez, or Hanley over this guy any day. I thought we got him to get offense out of the shortstop position.

Something happening in RF. They're not telling us. 2-0 on Papi. Fuck!!! That was half a foot short!!!! Shit!!!!!!!!!! This is BS. I thought Dustin was closer than that. Damn it.

So we get to see a cycle. That's cool, considering the hit he needed was just a single. Now another DP. Here's Cust. Remember when this dude fell down--twice--on the way home against the Yanks when he was an Oriole? I'll always be mad at him for that...

Yet another freebie. Why must you do this? Throw strikes, let the D take care of it. I hope he didn't let those A's fans get to him, what with their Yankee Stadium-esque booing of throws to first. Uhhh, that is the winning run over there, sorry we're concerned about him. (Another thing I hate about Yankee Stadium--they'll boo anything that wastes their precious time, again proving they're the least knowledgeable fans in baseball.) Two on, one out, we go to KySny. I blame myself for that last walk. I stood too close to the spot I was in when Lugo struck out. Gotta avoid that area... What the hell? A check swing, and it's like a sac bunt. Two outs. Crowd quiet for some reason. Get this guy, KySny. Nice. No problem. 3-1. 11th inning, let's go!

Crap. I guess you had to give Wily Mo the green light. Bottom 11 now.

Shit. Almost got it to the twelfth. We did what we could tonight, all things considered. Still way up in the division. Congratulations Toros. Congratulations Bears.