Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Children Are Our Future

This Clemens talk is really taking off. Hoorah. We are all...very.... exci...ted. [Biiig boyyy yawn] Ahem. Yyepp. In the spirit of Roger's latest article-about-himself-just-because, I give you:

Roger Clemens' Lessons For Kids

1. Play only for a winner. Children, the only way to be a winner is to join winners. How do you spot the winning groups? Just look at their wallets.

2. Don't waste your time. Guys, time is precious. You've got a lot to do. Let everyone else do the work getting to the top. When they're almost there, latch on. (Remember, only latch on to the ones who look like they're about to succeed--latching on to a loser makes you a loser. That's pointless.)

3. T-E-I-M still can be pronounced "team." Don't get caught up on petty things like loyalty. What have I been telling you, kids? You are the most important thing, even in a team situation. You're not out there to help others reach their goal, your job is to use others to reach your personal goal.

4. Those who love you don't matter. Who matters? You matter. If your best friend's dad kicks you out of his house (for, say, eating all his food without permission), abandon your friend and become chums with the Dunbar boy across the street, whose dad molested the original friend. Laugh behind the back of the old friend while he applauds you for doing such a great job at the Dun-Barbeque that he wasn't invited to. Screw that guy. (Even though he never did anything to you--but his dad's a dick--for rightly tossing you out.)

5. Fake injury. This is the big one, kids. You can get out of any situation if you remember this one simple rule. You could be right on the verge of taking the big prize, but if you don't feel you can get the job done, say you've got a blister. (Don't admit to it, though. Act like someone else influenced you to abandon ship.) If the team ends up winning, you share in the glory. If they lose, the blame will fall on someone else's shoulders--and you can just try to join the next team that's poised to win. How? Go right back to the top of this list. Never give up, kids.

Comments:
How is he going to get back into pitching shape when he's spending all his time gazing at his navel?

The narcissism of this asshole knows no bounds. At this point, I'm actually rooting for him to go pitch for the MFYs one more time...then I want the Sox to kick his ass five ways to Sunday in the ALCS.
 
That's exactly what I was saying last year during the Where will he go? saga: That I want him to go to Dunbar so we can beat him. Why aren't we all clamoring for videos telling him to go to THEM so we can BEAT him one last time??
 
A video campaign by Red Sox fans to send Clemens to NY would be hilarious. Where can people send these videos, Jere?
 
I don't really have a strong opinion of the guy either way, so I'd just like him back because he's a really good pitcher, and I want that on my team. I don't have to like the guys, personally.

He's also not unbeatable, so if he plays for New York, I'll enjoy rooting against him again. I think Boston fans recognize he's something special as a baseball player, so I think that may be why you're in the minority. I think Sox fans just really want to win, and don't worry as much about the other stuff, for the most part.
 
Dear Guy Who's Always Condescending To Me,

Please stop.

Thank you.
 
Dear Jere, that USED to be me...and then I realized you're just a normal guy, albeit a great Sox fan and a friend.
Oh, blogger fixed whatever it was, and Trot7 is a good friend and a great commenter. Maybe you meant someone else? That was sorta rude.
Did you check out the SI article??...I am linked here, in case you forgot! Peter...polite Peter
 
MOSTLY!!!!
 
So confused... Trotman's initial greeting to me was to tell me that my opinion was shit. Now he's talking about how Sox fans, you know, REAL ones, can RECOGNIZE things that I can't. And other things that "Sox fans" do, which I don't, and therefore am not a Sox fan.
 
Well, I understand after hearing it from your viewpoint. He's always been the best over at my place. Hey, it's just nice to have google blogger working again! Take care...P. Enjoy your Thursday. We miss the potential storm yet again up here. Thanks Jere...a total of ALMOST an inch of measurable snow here...on Feb 1, that is amazing, and it sux! Bye......
 
Actually, Trotman7, Jere ISN'T in the minority...uninformed outlets like the Boston Globe just make it seem that way.
 
Jere, you're a real hostile guy. Maybe I should just stop commenting- I guess you don't like to be disagreed with? I honestly did not mean to condescend.

You said before in a comment to Peter that the pro-Clemens group was the "majority," so I'd assumed you were right. You said this:

"I don't understand. I also don't understand why your side is the majority in this debate."

I don't know, maybe they're not. In which case, statement retracted.

I think thats why the "majority" of Sox fans (if it's the case) gave him a standing ovation, and now years later "forgive" him- because they (unlike Yankee fans) aren't myopically obsessed with only their own team, etc- they like the sport as a whole. YOu don't have to agree with that. Whatever.

But if the "majority" don't want him back, then my observation is probably untrue.

For the umpteenth time, I simply found your idea that the debate over abortion was "an offense to humanity" (or however you phrased it) to be "shitty." Then I outlined why I felt so. I apologize for the coarse language if that's something you frown upon here.
 
Um Dont think I will ever agree with number 4 and 5 SORRY CLEMENS:)
 
"T-E-I-M still can be pronounced "team.""

That is funny.

I've never been too invested in getting Clemens, so it doesn't matter to me. It'd be really funny if he went to the Yankees and sucked.
 
I will say this: a few years ago, I starting softening in my attitude towards him, and didn't find myself hating him the way that I did back in 1999. Part of that came from the way he screwed the Yanks by "retiring" and then immediately joining Power For Living Pettitte in Houston (loved how pissed Yank fans got over that), and the other part of it was that whole Sox-Winning-The-World-Series thing. So when Henry/Theo/Lucchino were trying to sell him on coming back a year ago, I was ambivalent, and probably would have gotten on board with it if he had returned.

But at this point all the media attention on "Where will he pitch?" has become nauseating...in particular the way he's soaking up the attention and musing on when and where he'll come back. It's like he's Scarlett Freakin' O'Hara already or something with his coy little diva act..."oh, I'll worry about that tomorrow".

Don't do us any favors, Rog...just go away. A world where I don't have to hear about Roger Clemens comeback stories is a better place.

One other thing from that article: I'd be pissed if I were an Astro fan, reading about him referring to pitching for the 'Stros last year as a waste because they didn't make the playoffs.
 
Amen.

To swoon over Clemens is an insult to all the young, filled-with-potential pitchers out there who would go a million extra miles for his team.

I'd much rather rally to keep Lowell than swish my pom-poms around for Roger "wicked old" Clemens to come back.
 
Thanks for your comments, everyone.

Trotman: Why are you saying things about me when you don't even know me? Do you want me to pretend to be polite with you when you piss me off? I have to stand up for myself. And it has nothing to do with whether we agree on an issue.
 
"Trotman: Why are you saying things about me when you don't even know me?"

I'm referring to things that I've observed about you here. You've been pretty hostile to me for a) using coarse language and b) not agreeing with you. I don't know if it's the misfortune of the internet and the difficulty of discerning someone's intent from it, but I wasn't coming on here to troll your blog on something. I just had a difference of opinion, and wanted to vigorously state it.

You've been really rude since that point on despite the fact that I haven't really done much but disagree with you since.

"Do you want me to pretend to be polite with you when you piss me off?"

I'd appreciate a little courtesy, I guess, yea, when, from where I'm standing I haven't really done more than drop an "s" bomb. I explained my intent with that initial comment, and you're still kind of being a dick about it. I'll probably just avoid this blog for that reason, but I just wanted to make it clear in the interim that you completely misunderstood my intent. You seemed like a bright, passionate guy to me when I first read your blog, so I wanted to return that in kind.

"And it has nothing to do with whether we agree on an issue."

Well, yea, that and the fact that you're misunderstanding my intent.
 
Okay, I guess I have to clarify: it's not the word you chose, I don't care if you say "shit," but I care if you come here, out of the blue, and call what I said "shit" (or any other word used to make fun of someone's opinion.)

And I'm letting you comment, despite you pronouncing--as if it were fact--that I'm rude, a dick, and hostile. How's that for courtesy?

You're not "just" disagreeing with me. You're saying that Red Sox fans are one way, and Yankee fans are another way, and that my opinions make me a Yankee fan based on that. That's how you get a Sox fan's goat, is to imply they're a Yankee fan. I'm not a stupid person, so I'm picking up on what you're doing. You're saying all this stuff to me when I did nothing to you.
 
"You're not "just" disagreeing with me. You're saying that Red Sox fans are one way, and Yankee fans are another way, and that my opinions make me a Yankee fan based on that. That's how you get a Sox fan's goat, is to imply they're a Yankee fan. I'm not a stupid person, so I'm picking up on what you're doing. You're saying all this stuff to me when I did nothing to you."

I didn't say this, and I didn't even imply it, as I explained later on. It's just a couple posts up.

"And I'm letting you comment, despite you pronouncing--as if it were fact--that I'm rude, a dick, and hostile. How's that for courtesy?"

You have been rude, a dick and hostile. You're also now being obstinate, by harping on your misunderstanding of things I've said despite my having explained where you missed my intent. I take responsibility for poorly expressing my point initially. You're the one not listening to me when I explain, however.

For someone expressing himself in a public fora, you're one whiney, sensitive guy Jere.

Enjoy the season.
 
And to make one more thing clear- when I said "It's this sort of shit that..." in the post you're referencing from your abortion post, my use of "shit" was not used in a way to classify your opinion- it was slang for "thing" or "stuff", etc. As in "before I went to bed I picked up my shit" or "my girlfriend left her shit in my house."

I did, however, take real exception with your comment, however, disagreed strongly, so I can see where you would ahve assumed I was trying to be a jerk about it initially.

Just to clarify.
 
You are the grand champion. Hooray! Me like cotton candy and bunnies.
 
Well, that was a telling response.

Here's a suggestion- lighten up a little. There's no need to take an honest disagreement as a call to defending your honor or whatever you want to call it. All I did was take issue with something you essentially "said" in "public." If you can't take a little criticism, it's hard to take you seriously.

Your friend,
Trotman7
 
Everybody, I've just enrolled in the Trotman School of Life. It's really fun, he tells you exactly what you should do and how you should live. It's great, he really digs down deep and can even tell you how he wants you to think. And if you're the type of person who writes blogs with cartoons and wacky videos and stuff, he'll tell you that you're really hostile and that you need to "lighten up!" Great stuff. In his reports about you, you can go back through the archives and see how he tries to tell you what to do or how you are--as if it were fact, and not his opinion--every single time! The consistency is amazing.

"A telling response." I love it. I fucking love that when some holier-than-thou douchebag acts like YOU'RE the crazy one: "Yeah, well, WE normal ones all know how you really are." Right. Great job. This isn't a "public forum," it's my website. Everyone's welcome to chime in with whatever opinion they have. But to come on to my site and be rude to me, well, you're lucky I've let you stick around this long. Make sure you copy and paste your next comment because it's going bye-bye.

That's the first time I ever used the phrase "cotton candy and bunnies" and was immediately told to lighten up. (?) Do you think I like to seek out wonderful, pleasant, polite people and be mean to them? Why would I do that? You were mean to me. Yes, I'm sensitive. So what? I'd rather be sensitive than a soulless robot, or, for that matter, a person would tell a woman who just got raped that she CAN'T get an abortion IF it was discovered that life "officially" starts at conception, like you would, Trotman. Now, let's just say that wasn't true. (It is, you've stated your position on this.) You'd want to respond, right? You'd want to say, Hey, but, but... And then imagine if you did and someone passed you off as "just some sensitive, whiny" person.

And I don't buy your argument that you meant "shit" like "stuff."
 
"I'd rather be sensitive than a soulless robot, or, for that matter, a person would tell a woman who just got raped that she CAN'T get an abortion IF it was discovered that life "officially" starts at conception, like you would, Trotman. "

I never said this. In fact, it was never addressed.

"And I don't buy your argument that you meant "shit" like "stuff.""

Fair enough. That's your right. I was just pointing out what I intended. I can accept it's part of your MO to assume things and run with it so it better fits your argument. Sort of like how I was "calling you a Yankee fan" yesterday.

I assume everything here is presented as "my opinion" and that I didn't have to reiterate that every time I wrote. I see that needs to be spelled out for you, as you appear to take everything literally on a fundamental level, and as such think I'm posting my opinion as fact.

So, since I'm not allowed to post here anymore, I guess others should note that, lest they incur the ire of Jere. Tread lightly.
 
"This isn't a "public forum," it's my website."

Also- what do you think "public forum" means?
 
Okay, I guess you can have that onnnne, I mean twooo, last posts, because we wouldn't want people to go without that warning about the evil me. But you're banned, startiiiing... startiiiing.....now! No, now! You, and your children, and your children's children. For three months!
 
See you May 2nd :)
 
you're pushin it, mista
 
I'm not gonna lie...the "See you May 2nd :)" comment kind of cracked me up...
 
"T E I M Clemens":

Notice the "I M";

The "I" is the most important word or Vowel in Roger's Vocabulary;

It's The Index of His Character &, boy, is he ever a Character;

Roger belongs on a stage;

In fact there's pne leaving in 10 Minutes;

Maybe, he'll come to Dunbar, when he's ready, in August, he being such an august character;

He's shopping around, perhaps in MEXICO for his vitamins.
 
Perhaps, Jason has a few "Shots" for him?
 

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