I know what you're saying. But I can't spell that noise vomit makes so I won't attempt to capture it with words. Now that you're done booting at the mere sight of Reggie Jackson's face, I know what you're saying again: Why is Mr. Cocktober on your blog? Well, I got the 6" x 10" card at left in the mail today. I usually buy tickets to a game at the Dunbar Dwelling each year, so the following year I'll usually get the annual mailing from the Yanks. That's what I assumed this was. Okay, whatever, I'm used to it. Then I looked closer. "Why the hell did they put that Blue Jays' logo on there? Wait, why the hell did they put the Blue Jays' stadium seating chart on the back? What a royal fuckup..." Then I used the ol' noggin to figure out what was going on. That's right, the card was sent by the Blue Jays!

Beep, beep, beep--back up a second. Why would any team send out a mailing with another team's player on it? Turns out the Jays are having a promotion where you can, by purchasing a multi-game package, attend a Q & A with Reggie Jackson before the Torontonians' Memorial Day match-up with the Yankees. Uh...okay. My next thought after reading that was, "Okay, I have a New York address. Maybe they're bringing in a legend from each visiting team, and then promoting him to fans in that team's city who, like me, had bought tickets from the Jays the previous year." But I'm guessing that's a little, uh, not-at-all-feasible. Or maybe it is only Reggie, but only people in the New York area were sent the card.

Regardless of all that, this still stinks. I have accused the Jays of being pro-Yankee before, what with the former Skydome's gift shop having an entire Dunbar merchandise section and all. (When I say "and all" I mean "the time the Yanks clinched the playoffs at Skydome on the last day of the '95 season and they set off fireworks and granted they were probably pre-scheduled but still they could've waited a few freakin' minutes...") But this is ridiculous.

Does any Jays fan want to see Reggie Jackson on the front of a mailing from their own team? Or any Yankee for that matter? Couldn't they have gotten George Bell? Where the hell is Lloyd Moseby? Why is Reggie Jackson the centerpiece of the 2007 Blue Jays? And why do they feel the need to attract the other team's fans, especially over their own, none of whom give a shit about Reggie Jackson? And even in that case, they're doing it before a Yankee game. Yankee fans will be coming that day anyway. I am completely baffled by this.

And can they kiss the guy's ass any more? The picture is the kind that's black and white with a "glow" around the player. Then on the back, it's the color version of the same shot, and a shaded area with the schedule superimposed on it. If you look closely at the shaded area, it's actually a close-up of a pinstriped "44" jersey! They're going all out with this, as if Reggie had any connection to the Blue Jays, when in reality he was a division rival of the Jays who never played for them, and was passionately hated, along with the rest of the late-70s Yankees, by baseball fans across the galaxy.

(Also, terrible job "extending" the crowd in the pic by making a mirror image and then stretching the photo out. (Right under the Y in the Jays' logo is the point where the "mirror" is.))

But enough about that. This weekend, I went to my first-ever taping of The Daily Show. It was cool, but I like the Colbert Experience better. (I'll be going to yet another Colbert taping on Thursday.) Friend of ARSFIPT Jason from Seattle came along with Chan and I, as did my mom. Mom was in town for an interview with an XM radio show. Since she had her book with her, she tried to give it to Jon Stewart during the pre-show Q & A. It seemed like he was going to accept, but then laughed it off upon hearing the title. I guess celebrities can't bother taking gifts from fans--she could've published the book in her attic for all he knew--, but still, he could've taken the gift and thrown it away when he got backstage if absolutely had no interest. Besides, my mom's idea of giving him a book was much better than that of the kid who raised his hand and just said to Jon, "You should write a screenplay." On Thursday, both my parents will be joining Chan and I at The Report. I came up with a great idea. For the Colbert Q & A, Mom should again raise her hand, only this time say how she tried to give the book to Stewart three days earlier, and he declined, and that she's crossed out the inscription to Jon and written a new one to Colbert. I think that might work.

I also saw a piece of the Berlin Wall yesterday. They're all over the place.