Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Docked Her Lilly Infield/Ted, Just Admit It...

[Update: Lilly signs with Cubs as Yanks miss out and don't "do what it takes," happy with Pavano in their rotation.]

The Ted Lilly situation, summed up by me:

Yanks want Lilly, 'cause he beats the Sox a lot. Cubs want him, 'cause they're just snatching up everybody. Lilly says FU to Blue Jays, and Cubs have made offer. Yanks meeting with Lilly now, if they wow him, he goes there, if not, he goes to Chicago.

Ways to make fun of Mr. Dunbar if they DO get Teddy Bawl-game (get it? Because he always looks like he's about to cry? Huh? Huh?): Sure, he had an incredible stretch against us--starting, not coincidentally, right after our players openly mocked his flowery surname. That stretch ended early last season. If you go by last season, he's a mediocre pitcher who doesn't do any better against the Red Sox than he does against anybody else. Plus, Dunbar already had this guy, but they traded him to get Jeff Weaver. So, basically, they've missed out on the period when Lilly was actually good, and really good against us. Plus, I like when the Yanks think specifically about beating us when it comes to improving their team, what with their fans' constant claims of us being obsessed with them, which some of us are, but still, not possibly as much as they are with us.

Ways to make fun of Mr. Dunbar if they DON'T get Lilly In Hell, Man: TJ, Yanks, you missed out on another pitcher, and a lefty starter at that. Good luck with old Andy Pettitte, another guy you should have kept. Plus, TJ, George, by not coming through and not spending the money when it counts, another big thing they love to make fun of us for.

So I've got my bases covered. It really is a no-lose situation for us, I think.

Note: Above, when I said the thing about the crying, that's not supposed to be a frowny face. It's just the end of the parentheses followed by a colon.

Note: Above, when I said "colon," it had nothing to do with the post below this one where the fart brought down the plane.

Note: Since I'm realizing now how dirty the first part of that title sounds, I'll explain its true meaning: Did you see Malice? That was the movie where Alec Baldwin says, "I am God." Well, there's a character called "Dr. Lilienfield" in that movie. And that was the first thing I thought of when I thought of Lilly. Also, that dude played by Bill Pullman says, "I want the Red Sox to win the World Series." You got your wish, Bill Pullman's character. You got your wish.

I can't believe AJM is missing all this.

He looks like a meatball, too. I think Lilly'll do well in the NL, don't you? At least I hope he does.

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