Monday, September 25, 2006

My Ass

God, I hate "my." "My" is the new "extreme." Who's falling for this crap?

"Oh, yeah, my checking account is 'MyChecking.' It's all mine. No one else has it."

"Actually, every single person who uses your bank has it. Terrible job."

What pushed me over the edge to the point where I'm now sharing this with you was the ad I just saw for Coke. "My DVD. My MP3. My Coke Rewards."

Yeah, they're yours, these surely high-quality rewards, but that goes without saying. Once the "my" is there in the title, wouldn't you have to add an extra "my" to make it truly yours? "My 'My Coke Rewards.'"? Eventually, "my-" will be a prefix that means the object simply exists: "Excuse me, mysir, you're standing on my myfoot. Give myme some myroom." "Go fuck myyourself!"

There's even a TV network called My9. Or My followed by whatever number denotes the crappy According to Jim-filled channel in your particular city.

Of course, sitting atop the heap of shit that is "my" marketing is the dreaded "myspace." I think the thing I'm most proud of in my life is that I'm not on myspace.

Screw you and your my-ness, marketers. I mean, my my-ness. No, my your-ness. Forget it.

Comments:
& Tim said it's "My MVP Award":

Derek
 
MY comment..or maybe I could have put it differently.
 
Man, it's going to be a lo-o-o-o-o-ng offseason.
 
There's got to be something you're more proud of than not being on myspace...it's a decent resource for following and communicating with bands; about all I use it for; just about everyone is using it now as their primary information purveyor in that field- it's usually more up to date than the typical band's website. The trawling for 19 year old tail angle of myspace is a little creepy, but it's not entirely reprehensible...(the site, I mean, not that angle)...
 
***plz pl4y my t0wn, Matteeee*******
**u guyz r0cked Fri nite!!!!!!**


and pwn and whatnot
 
This weekend, we rock Portland...
 
I think that the My seed may have been planted by Microsoft originally. I remember when Windows 95 came out thinking "My Computer? My Documents? What the hell?" It really sounded odd. Now I don't even bat an eyelash when I hear about shit like "My Rewards".
 
I definitely thought of that, too. How you buy a new computer and it's mine mine mine. But really everybody's.
 

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