Friday, August 04, 2006

Eric Wedge Has A Facial Tic

All right! I'll say it! Eric Wedge has a facial tic! I can't hold back any longer with this cooped up inside! Facial tic! Huge...facial tic! It looks like he's giving signs with his face...'cial tic! FT! Prolonged, uncontrollable tic of the entire face region! First one to say it on the internet, right here! Google it, "Eric Wedge facial tic." Nothin.' But it's true, he has one. It's unstoppable. It's "pre-Blue Jays Joe Carter when everyone said the Red Sox should get him" powerful.

Put an X in the center square!

Tic! Tac! To-ny Bernazard, that is one helluva facial tic. On Eric Wedge. Can I get that on a wedge? Open face?

My lord, the guy could open for Steve & Edie at the Tic Toc Inn.

He should charge admission to that tic. Ticket price? Face value.

There, it's out in the open. You're welcome, baseball fans.

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Speaking of crazy sportscasters, did you see FireJoeMorgan's pieces on Kay's insane ranting about Nazis and slavery?
Insane outloud laughter way too early on a Saturday morning. GJ Jere.
Q: Yet another face for the Pantheon: The Eric Wedge nervous twitch/tic face where he is constantly blinking, twitching his nose, etc. The frequency of his ticks rises and falls depending on the game situation. As a Sox fan living in Cleveland, I've seen him do this for a couple of years now. I'm hoping that you've enjoyed the show firsthand against the Sox this week during the closer meltdowns. We're waiting for him to swallow his tongue one of these days.
-- Alan, Cleveland

SG: Glad someone mentioned this: During both of Carmona's meltdowns, I kept imagining what Wedge would be capable of during a tense moment in a playoff game, or even better, a World Series game, you really might see Wedge have some sort of Great Cornholio-level seizure in the dugout. I want to play poker at the same table with him and Flip Saunders. Just once.

(One more note on this: It's hard to do justice to Carmona's double meltdown at Fenway this week, but to put it in perspective, my buddy Hench e-mailed me right afterward to joke, "If Wedge sends him out there to close another game, he should be investigated for a human rights violation." He wasn't kidding.)

That was from Bill Simmons' Thursday Mailbag over on
Sorry dude...
Jason: I like when Kay says "Tell me, Jimmy, why?" Also, when he started losing it, I immediately thought how "jinxes in baseball" isn't any siller than Jesus stuff, and the other guy then brought up the same point.

Peter: Thanks.

Matty: Oh well. At least mine was funny.

WCSG: I would be very impresses if anybody gets that reference....

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