Wednesday, July 26, 2006

And I Apostrophe

Manny Dead Cops!* I love this kid. He seems to know when you the fan assume he's frustrated, but he's got this mystery tape-delayed poise, and gets out of his or whoever else's jam, seemingly every time. Between him and mound-kicking Lester, we're looking at a bright, albeit heart-attack-y, future!

In punctuation news, I think I've found the most common mistake of all time. I'll use the latest example to fill you in. I'm getting this game on the A's channel, and they had a commercial (along with one that said "Hey, Giants fans..." TJ!) that was basically telling you to watch the A's on "FSN-Oakland AlamedaFrisco-Land" or whatever. It was all righteous and stuff, saying how the A's always hustle. They tried to end it with a joke that wasn't funny. Anyway, it closes out with this logo on a bat that says "A's in '06". Now, my apostrophe and my single open quotation mark are the same in this font, so I can't show you what I mean, but I can tell you that they wrote "[single open quote] 06" instead of [apostrophe] 06".

Terrible job. Do people even know there's a difference? The little calendar at my job that goes out to the public gets this wrong every month. I see it all over the place in very professional-type places, done wrong. With a quote where there should be an apostrophe.

An apostrophe signals either a contraction or a place where letters have been left out. It faces left and looks like a nine. A single open quote is for when you put something in quotes within another quote, and is ALWAYS used along with a closed quote--which is identical to the apostrophe and is probably from where this confusion stems. It faces right and looks like a little six.

Three-run double for 'Tek! (Apostrophe used; it shows there are letters missing: "Vari." It's not the start of a quote with no ending and therefore no end quote.) And another two hits! We're up 11-5!

*Manny Delcarmen is often called MDC, which was the name of a band, short for "Millions of Dead Cops."

Update: Nice job on the 18-hit attack. Still 2.5 up and it's day baseball tomorrow, followed by me seeing Jaws outdoors for the second year in a row at night. For staying up until 1:40 AM, we all deserve this Oates video. Note: These videos I put up aren't just things I find on the web, you know that, right? I'm going through my hundreds of tapes, and uploading cool stuff to the web. It's all stuff I either made or taped myself.

Yes, I left the beginning of the commercial in there on purpose. It's my trademark. Commercials preserve eras. Also, check out the rest of my vids here.

Wait, me, keyboards don't have two different symbols for the two different punctuation marks. So maybe people know they're using the wrong one, but there's nothing they can do. Maybe.
For staying up till 1:40, I think we all deserve NOT to see the Oates video...weird sense of justice, man...
What's wrong with the Oates video???
"We need a bigger boat." And at night, under the stars...nice. I saw Jaws for the first time the day it premiered, with my brother on that Friday afternoon in June of '75. We left work for lunch, and spent the afternoon in the water, wiith Stephen Spielberg. Nothing has been the same since. NOTHING.
If keyboards don't acknowledge the difference... where does it show up? Typewriters? Calligraphy?
you left out "gonna," Peter.

Sam, I don't know how you can type an open quote. But they definitely exist. You also can't tell open double quotes from closed double quotes. Watch:


See, they both look the same.

I think the reason a program will read an apostrophe as an open quote is because it sees it BEFORE a word, or number, and assumes you're asking for open quote. Like in '06. But if it's "apostrophe s", they assume you want an apostrophe.

Terrible job by computers and stuff.
Many years ago, I was compiling a celebrity haiku anthology... one of the contributors was the guy from MDC.

I never finished the project, unfortunately. My biggest hai-coup was a pair from Mister Ian Mackaye. I have no idea what I did with all the contributions.
Holy absolute shit. If you find 'em, let me know what Ian's were. Who else did you get? In fact, why don't you go ahead and finish the project? I mean, once you find them.
Wow-right you are! Swimmingly, Peter

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