Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Sweep Squared

I got this series on NESN, fortunately, so tonight I got to listen in to the hilarious conversation between Youks and SorryAssHole at first base:

KY: "How do you like left field?"

SAH: (tells his 2006 saga-to-date in the form of a single, disinterested shrug)

Slick: "I played left twice this year."

Alfonso (not the one from Silver Spoons): "Oh yeah?"

Jelly McGee: "Yeah, it's easy. It's great for hitting because you can just [chill out there doin' nothin] and think about hitting."

First base coach: (leans in and warns both players to pay some goddamn attention, it seems))

Yoook: "Thans, I appreciate it. I got picked off already this year."

Great job by Lester. Glad I saw his first major league start. Ortiz with the grand dong. Always fun. Both Seanez and Tavarez got into trouble and heard the "uh, but we are gonna keep going with the kids, mainly, right?"-style boos. Fortunately we were up big by then.

Yanks win, so we're stil two up. I walked by an eight year old kid in an "Even Idiots Get Lucky" t-shirt. I wanted to laugh in his fat little face and say "Yeah, lucky we were playing you. Asshole." But somehow I restrained myself.

Don't know if I told this story or not, but opening day at RFK for the Nats, My Wife and Kid and I were walking from the Metro into the stadium and ahead of us was this 9/10 year old kid in a Jeter jersey, which is super ridiculous because the Nats were playing the Mets. And I walked up within about 5 feet of him and sort crouched down to back level and totally flipped the kid off both middles high in the sky. Of course he didn't see it, nor did his fam. Don't know if anyone walking behind us saw it, but my wife did. Fortunately she's weird enough to think it was hi-larious. My mom didn't though. Big surprise. Also, how'd I get so high up on the link list? Who'd we kill in a boy slot? And also, my verification word is "pofqas," as in the Yunks are so pofqas I can hardly stand it. Create a meaning for that word in that context. It'll be fun.
Nice story. I approve. I don't approve of unprovoked attacks of any variety, unless they can't see it. Note: messages on t-shirts count as non-verbal provocation by them, and can be countered in any way we choose.

You moved up the list due to a random drawing witnessed by an independent auditor from Cooper's and Librand, or whoever.

Okay, I'll play your little game. nxnybpp. Knicks (of) NY be Pee-pee(s). The Knicks are dicks!
I hate basketball, but I'd have to say that the Kn(iggetts)cks are total pofqas as well.
My wonderful ladyfriend always mutters "child abuse" at the parents when we pass li'l kids in Yankees stuff. Unless it's a Sheffield jersey T. Then she says it quite loudly.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States