Thursday, June 08, 2006

Crass Commercialism

Man, that Youk sure knows how to sweat. We should call him Kevin Ew-kilis. But that doesn't work since it sounds the same as the real name when spoken. But it's supposed to compare him to ultra-sweaty basketball player Patrick Ewing.

Hey, remember when Jeter vowed--vowed--to play the first game of this series? He's still out. But I still get to see him, since he's currently appearing on no less than six commercials. The one with Spike Lee, where Lee botches the line "Let me show you what a pro can do" by emphasizing "do" instead of "pro;" the one where he shows us his "crib," and actually says, "hold up, hold up," you know, to show he's "street;" the one where a pitcher throws him balls from different sports, which they somehow relate to the fact that you should read the rating label on video games; the one with Beckett for some video game that isn't RBI Baseball; the one for the hitting drills video where he literally teaches your children to get cheap hits to right field consistently; and...all this writing made me forget the sixth. Don't worry. They're all unaviodable.

9-3 us. Nice.

And here's the Jeter/Lee ad as I type.

Hey, here's something I just noticed the other night. The avenune I live off of is a major route from The Bronx through Manhattan. You come over the 3rd Avenue Bridge, and you're right on it. (Ironically, it's not 3rd Avenue.) So Chan and I took a walk after the game, and noticed unusually heavy traffic coming from the north. (With one dude even chanting "Fuck the Red Sox," really loud--but he did it with class, remember--so we knew it was Stadium traffic. Right now, I'll go check it out, see how many Dunbar fans have left. .... Okay, since I don't usually pay attention to it, I can't tell. But there are definitely cars goingby. For argument's sake, we'll say every single Dunbar fan has left.

"When in Rome, you might as well do what the Romans do."--Bobby Murcer, just now, referring to Jerry Springer wearing a yankee hat. TJ, Springer. Hey, has anyone else noticed Felicity Seymour Huffman, or whatever his name is, sitting behind the plate? Looks like it's gotta be him.

Top 8, still 9-3. yankee fans *stunned* that they can't suddenly win every single game with superstar Melky Cabrera leading the way. Succers.

Stormtroopers of Death now pitching for New York.

[Update 6/9/06: My dad emailed me and said "TJ on spelling of 'succer.'" Does anyone remeber the cartoon--Woody Woodpecker, I think--where a bunch of fireworks shoot up in the air and spell "succer"? At least I think it was spelled like that. SO I always thought a person who got fooled was a "succer," as opposed to a lollipop or something that sucks, which would be "sucker." I figured "sucker" was too easy to be correct, like how a phony isn't a "poser," despite that they are technicallly one who poses, but a "poseur." Although now that I've looked it up, it turns out "poser" is indeed a synonym for "poseur."]

My favorite Remy-Orsillo exchange (8th inning):
O: "Not many Yankee fans left."
R: "30,000 of them are already on the Major Deegan."
More like sitting in that god-awful parking garage waiting to get on the Deegan.

I'll explain the Stormtroopers of Death thing. There was this kid at my high school, a senior when I was a freshman, named Matt Smith, a stoner who wore an SOD jacket.
Yeah, I saw that lousy Jeter/Lee ad a couple times last night, and it made me regret that I didn't mention that "Sox will never win the World Series in my lifetime" comment to Spike when I had a chance the other night.
I like Philip Seymour Hoffman, so I'd be disappointed if he's a Dunbar fan.

As far as the "When in Rome" comment goes, I guess it's appropriate...the Dunbar Empire is old, decaying and decadent, just as the Roman Empire once was.
This guy at the bar last night said he was sitting in right field. And here he was, in Fairfield, before the game was even over. No, I didn't need to ask who he was rooting for.

Later he showed classic cocky-MFY-fan style upon heading off to another bar by trying to convince me to go with him and acting very surprised and disappointed that I was not interested after we had not even really conversed and CERTAINLY NOT exchanged glances.
I'm totally down with PSH, too, just goofing on the name. But, if he a Dunbar fan, he starts to lose points...

About "when in Rome," I also meant to say how Murcer was showing classic casual yankee fan behavior: "If ya can't beat 'em, totally wuss out and join their brainless legions."

TJ by Fairfield guy.
If Philip Seymour Hoffman can stand the weather for more than four innings, the guy from Fairfield should have been able to. That's just weak.
Even Springer (the real one, not Dennis Drinkwater) made it til the seventh inning stretch.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States