Monday, May 01, 2006

Whores Devour

Just one more warning before you head out to the park tonight:

Imagine this scenario: Damon is introduced. A huge percentage of the crowd starts cheering. Everyone joins in, stands and cheers. Damon tips his helmet, and lets a fake tear fall from his eye. He settles into the box.

A long fly ball...and it's gone. He rounds the bases, and jogs toward A-Rod, Jeter, Giambi, and Sheffield, and celebrates with those pieces of excrement. (Do you think he'd go and celebrate with the Sox dugout, or with you in the stands for having cheered him?)

The Fenway crowd is left standing, a bunch of "idiots," laughed at by all of "yankee universe." (an actual phrase used on T-Shirts, which Damon has been seen wearing, maybe even while driving around with his new Empire18 license plate.)

So, please, I beg you, do not cheer this man. Do not welcome Mr. Dunbar into your house, feed him and give him a place to stay, only to watch him have sex with your mom in the living room while you're standing their holding the empty hors d'oeuvres tray. The only real tears coming from Johnny will be if he is showered with boos. And it's hard to hit the ball with tears in your eyes!

Bonus wackystat of the day: The Red Sox will play Mr. Dunbar on four of the next six Tuesdays. "Tuesdays with Torre"-style. And word has it that Mirabelli will be back...tonight!

I seriously had just left a comment to this affect on your previous post.
Yeah, just caught that, too. Funny.
this is a scary possibility.
I think Mirabelli is going to be getting more cheers than Damon!!!
Welcome back Dougie!!
Wow, we didn't have to give much up for him, either. I cannot express how excited I am about this trade. God bless.
Hopefully Dougie will be getting the biggest cheer at Fenway tonight. Awesome news.
Mom here.
I am once again enjoying all the fun comments now that "anonymous" i.e. Yankee fan, is apparently back on his meds
Not to be a wet blanket, but I'm pretty ambivalent. Doug's 35, hasn't been hitting for nearly a season and a half now, and has reportedly had tightness in his back. Not that I consider Meredith much either, but all that for an aging backup catcher seems like a lot.

Plus, on the surface, 5 starts and out for Josh Bard hardly seems like anything but overreaction. I guess it's possible that there was something there with Bard that we're not privy to.

Meh. I sure hope he stays healthy. HIS backup isn't really much of anything.
If it was just Meredith, Bard, and cash for Mirabelli, I'd say we got steamrolled. My guess is that it is the front office being fair in order to maintain good terms with San Diego. I would definitely have given up Bard, Meredith and cash for Lorretta.
I will cheer Damon when:

Jane Fonda sings "God Bless America" @ Fenway Park;

When Tim Mc Carver keeps quiet during a "FOX Saturday Baseball" telecast;

When Tim gets Jeter's name wrong.
I commented on your blog about it, BSM, right when you did here. So, I'll say it now for my readers:

I was surprised at everyone who immediately was down on Bard, and I was all for giving him more of a chance. However, I'm ttoally psyched for Doug to come back, and I think it will make Wake that much better knowing he's got his guy back there. I think this should work out for us.
To BS's point, I think that they know something about Bard, also. Theo + Co tend to lean toward the "when in doubt, go with the younger guy" philosophy. Maybe Bard was like, "Screw this. I can't take it anymore." Some guys just don't have the constitution to play in this town, nothing against him.

If Doug can give Wake the confidence he needs to put the polish on the knuckleball, then I am all for it. Also, I'm pretty sure that Mirabelli has a decent track record against lefties which is a nice bonus.
The only issue I have is that Mirabelli's getting a bit old, and hasn't hit in a while. He does hit lefties well, but Bard was a switch hitter, which was a nice bonus too.

It seems like a lateral move but yea, if there's some imput from Wakefield there as well, I'm fine for it. Losing Meredith wasn't a huge deal.
I don't think Bard was a Red Sox long enough to not be able to take it anymore. I think it probably had more to do with a vote of no confidence from Wakefield.
We're talking about the Dougie who CAN catch the knuckleball. Man on third, less than two more giving up runs. It's a good thing. An occasional bash over the Wall won't hurt, either.
Man, I can't believe you're all still bitter at Johnny Boy taking the cash. I'm predicting a stat of like of something like three for four with a double, two runs and an RBI in a tight 5-4 Yankees win.

That'd be even better then if when all of you bitter "fans" booed, he just walked and gave you all the finger.
Jere, I'll give you three good reasons NOT to boo Damon tonight:

1) IMO, it'll feed Damon's massive ego just to get a big reaction out of us...maybe as much as an ovation would. "They care! They're hurt! They still wish I was there!"

2) It'll make Michael 'Momma's Boy' Kay happy...he'll probably blather on for several innings about those ungrateful, classless Sawx fans.

2) It'll make complete tools like Nick "Stereotypical Jack-Off Yankee Fan" Smith happy.

Damon played very hard for us, and dealt the two death blows to The Biggest Chokers in Postseason History on October 20, 2004. For that, I will always be grateful.. I feel, however, that we more than thanked him for that last season. I have no problem at all with him taking the $52mm from Mr. Dunbar; my problem with Damon was all the subsequent dumb, whiney comments from his camp about the Sox FO 'disrespecting' him and 'not wanting him' and 'dismantling the team'...a $40mm offer certainly strikes me as very respectful. I think the best reaction to him right now is silent indifference. I realize that's too much to hope for; I'm sure he'll get a lot of loud boos AND cheers.
"That'd be even better then if when all of you bitter "fans" booed, he just walked and gave you all the finger."

Because that would be the classy yankee way.

AJM: I don't know, I think after all Johnny's said, I think boos would really make him cry. And maybe he'd finally set us free and realize that he had his chance and he made a huge mistake. If he gets cheered, he'll just milk that: "See how much they love me--I can't wait to go back." When wwhat we should be doing is making other teams NOT want to play at Fenway. The more comfortable they are, the better they play. They only times I clap for the other team is if someone puts on a masterful performance and does it without being a dick, or if it's an ex-Sox who didn't do the stupid thing of choosing the yanks over us.
"I'm predicting a stat of like of something like three for four with a double, two runs and an RBI in a tight 5-4 Yankees win."

Hey, Nick Smith was EXACTLY right...all except for the three for four with a double, two runs and an RBI in a tight 5-4 Yankees win part!

Who's Your Papi?!?!?

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