Monday, April 03, 2006

About This Blog '06

I'm a dude called Jere, 30-ish, born and raised in small-town Connecticut, about 40 miles from New York City. My county has always been considered part of the New York market, and is not within New England Sports Network's territory, despite its name. (Last time I checked, all of Connecticut was part of New England.) I was raised a Red Sox fan, but I never got to see them regularly on TV. I grew up rooting against the yanks on channel 11, with the sound down, and for the Red Sox on WTIC-1080 radio out of Hartford. My family's motto was "I love New York, it's the yankees I hate." There was just no ignoring that "other" team, and there still isn't. The most important thing is that the Red Sox win. But the most important thing is that the yankees lose. See what I did there?

Last year, I finally moved to the great city of New York, home of everything, including some of the finest yankee-haters you'll ever meet. There are actually more Sox fans around where I live in Manhattan then there were up in Fairfield County. I proudly wear my Red Sox apparel on a daily basis.

I started this blog two years ago, as a way to basically give my point of view of the rivalry--to let Red Sox fans, and anyone else who cares, just how much crap is spewed out of the mouths of Steinbrenner cronies like Michael Kay, Jon Sterling, and traitor Suzyn Waldman. And also to expose the weaknesses that the yanks consistently have. The media will tell you about a classy, all-powerful organization, but I will help you see their tradition of deception and chicanery (that's an old Church Lady phrase), as well as their history of other teams' errors and walks, and blindest-ass luck any people or group of people have ever experienced in the history of the world. (They call it "mystique.")

I also go to a lot of Sox games; at least ten every year in Boston, as well as in other cities. I take lots of pictures of players on and off the field and post them here. I also make movies--some about the Red Sox, some not. They can be found by clicking here. I also do a lot of trivia quizzes because they rule.

I can rest easier nowadays, of course, what with the events of 2004. But just experiencing five seconds of a Michael Kay- or Jon Sterling-announced game, or seeing some dude who admits to knowing nothing about baseball slap a yankee hat on, thinking he's turning himself into a "winner," makes me remember that there won't ever be a reason to stop hating the yankees.

This blog isn't about the score or the stats, although I know my baseball and I will give you that stuff sometimes. It's really about my take on things from the perspective of someone behind enemy lines. And also about goofing off and attempting to be entertaining. Pre-requisites for understanding what the hell I'm talking about are simple: Know your SNL past, your Bill Murray movies, your music that's not invented by a guy in a suit, and maybe some baseball, and you'll be gold. I'm also a left-wing, commie, pinko, vegetarian, straight edge, bleeding heart liberal feminist...you know what I'm saying. Making fun of people who happen to have been born without a penis, pale flesh, or in a country other than the USA will not be tolerated.

Terms to know:

TJ: Stolen from WFAN's Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, this is short for "terrible job," and is used to describe someone doing something stupid or poorly. Damon signed with the yanks? Terrible job. or TJ by Chan on that whole "deciding who to root for" thing.

Chan: Refers to my friend since freshman year of high school, and now my roommate here in New York. Chan is his last name. According to him, it's like Smith in China. Which is weird since that's my last name. He's actually from Hong Kong, and despite my efforts to convert him, he's been a yankee fan ever since he moved to this country, thanks to our friend and legitimate yankee fan, Jim.

[yankee fans, please note: I grew up around mostly yankee fans. Most of them laughed at me and called me names, but many of my friends were and are yankee fans, too. I don't literally want to kill you, and this is supposed to be in good fun. Your team just makes me kind of, uh, pissed sometimes. As do those of your kind who don't exactly "pay attention until October," so to speak. If you're a true yankee fan, and you want to debate anything rationally, you are always welcome. Please identify yourself, though, as opposed to commenting anonymously. That goes for everyone, actually. And even if you do post anonymously, and the only thing you can muster up is "YOUR STUPID," that is your right. Your punishment is not that I will delete your comment, but I will leave it up to show just how dumb you are, and you will only make the real and intelligent yankee fans look worse. Thank you.]

Mr. Dunbar: After Johnny Damon signed with the yanks, some people felt that Sox fans should cheer him when he returns to Fenway. I countered by comparing this to having your mom divorce your dad and marry the man across the street who used to molest you. You wouldn't side with her after that, right? I called the mythical neighbor "Mr. Dunbar." Hence, the yankees are sometimes called that, or simply "Dunbar." The fact that Dunbar is the company that carries money around is just a sweet, sweet coincidence.

Finally, a note on words: I am a bit of a spelling/grammar-"Nazi." That doesn't mean if you accidentally make a typo in your comment I will go off on you. People can tell who knows how to use the English language and who doesn't. Even those who know will hit the wrong key every now and again. But if you come in here and consistently write "your" instead of "you're," or just demonstrate that you don't know certain common-sense rules, you may get slammed. But that would really only happen if you're making fun of me/my mom while using the incorrect language. Exceptions would be if you're new to the English language, or you know it, but have your own style that you consistently use. Like, for me, I never capitalize "yankees." I know that it's correct to capitalize prooper names, but I choose not to in that instance, because that would be giving them too much credit.

Have fun. Tell me what you think. Comment or e-mail me whenever at Two2067@aol.com. And don't forget to click on some links on the right side. A lot of people are doing a lot of interesting things.

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Comments:
Random thoughts from Opening Day:

1. Schilling, good...Foulke, well...Thanks CoCo!

2. Billy Wagner to Dunbar's Panamanian Assassin: "F you jacksauce, it's my song now, bitch!"

3. Oh, and the Nats got hosed, btw, in case ya didn't see it. A bit of Dunbarian luck there for the old Metropolitans...

4. I agree with Bill Simmons: Nick Swisher is just a really funny name. A very SNL name, really. Like he'd be watching a game with Aswipe Johnson and the Hurlihy boy...

5. 6 days till I see the Sox at Camden Yards, or as we lovingly call it here, "Red Sox Nation, Temporary Mid-Atlantic HQ;" plus, I wanna clap for Millar, I miss that crazy bastard.

Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed the games, Go Sox! and good luck with your 2 for 1 Sox/Mets ticket trade/scheistering thingy there...

MattySox
 
It's an immutable law of the Internet that any post asserting the author's superior spelling or grammar abilities will contain at least one spelling or grammatical error.

"There are actually more Sox fans around where I live in Manhattan then there were up in Fairfield County. I proudly wear my Red Sox apparel on a daily basis. . . . I am a bit of a spelling/grammar-'Nazi.'"

Terrible job, Jere.
 
But it's like what I was talking about, where I get things right 98% of the time, and we all make typos, and, eh, forget it. It does prove that I didn't use spellcheck, though, heh heh. Also, never claimed superiority, and even said if you're not making fun of me at the time, I won't make fun of your errors.

Matty: I have one ticket. I can't go that night. If I could get two, I'd gladly take a game of lesser value, and seats of lesser value, just so I can go with a friend, and on a weekend. The Mets series is the most popluar one of the season. I'm trying to give someone else a deal here. TJ by people who bought single loge seats to that series for 85 bucks when they dumped some last week. They could have gone thruogh me and got a seat almost as good for about half the cost--or the cost of 2 weekend bleacher seats. The offer is still on the table. I give you: 1 Mets ticket. You give me: Just about anything at this point.
 
Hey Jere, a great beginning of the season post! I went with a piece of fiction over at my place after seeing Foulkie pitch yesterday. I had to. I saw the future, and I wrote it down. Game #64. Your post is a well-written piece. GJ
 
hey jere, that offer for burritos while petting my cats is still open as well.

also I'd like to add to phil's comments, mostly 'cause I love saying tj, which is all your fault! just wondering about this passage:

But that would really only happen if you're making fun of me/my mom while using the incorrect language. Exceptions would be if you're new to the English language, or you know it, but have your own style that you consistently use.* Like, for me, I never capitalize "yankees." I know that it's correct to capitalize prooper names, but I choose not to in that instance, because that would be giving them too much credit.


1) don't you mean me/my mom/my team?

2) * are you referring to Michael Leggett here?

3) nice.
 
All right, my team, too. But usually they make fun of me in regards to my team.

Leggett's a good example of having his own style. But I wasn't just thinking of him. Doesn't piney write all internetty-like? You've also probably noticed in emails from me that I'll say "cuz" instead of "because," and stay pretty lower-case most of the time. The only thing that gets me is if someone clearly doesn't know what they're doing. In other words, mistakes are cool, and prove your'e human. Pretending to know something while proving you don't know shit at the same time is not cool.

Prooper. It's a word. It means proper. On April 3rds.
 

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