Sunday, March 12, 2006

Tha Mose Nolijabul Fanz Inn Bassball

All I can say about the pedestrians of 2nd Avenue today is "terrible job."

First, Chan and I passed a girl with a "2090" hat. I responded to her silent "taunt" by saying "that means nothing" to her, but she'd already passed and I don't think she heard me.

Later, it was an older man with a "1918" hat. This time I spoke a little louder, also just after we passed him. "1918 means nothing. Nothing at all, sir." He started to turn around but thought better of it.

Okay, if you're a smart Dunbar fan, will you please write to me and tell me that you are embarrassed by these people? They have to have had some type of brain injury, correct? When are these retarded people going to admit that 2004 did happen? And that the future hasn't been decided yet? You can't rub something in to someone when that thing is only a figment of your imagination. I wouldn't just go up to a person and say "Ha ha, you're going to trip and fall! Uh, at some point. In my opinion. Suck on that!" It would be highly ineffective.

I imagine the two of these people on line at a store. The "1918" guy tries to buy a gallon of milk for a nickel. "What do you mean the price changed? It used to be a nickel. I'll just pay the nickel, then. And you'll give me the milk. Now, please. What are you waiting for? It costs a nickel, you see. It will never change."

Then after he's taken to the psych ward, the "2090" lady steps up with her milk. She tries to pay with frozen urine cubes. "What do you mean this isn't valid currency. I feel that in 86 years people will buy things using human piss. So, like, why aren't you giving me the milk? I must be a-missin' something because you aren't accepting my urine-for-goods-and-services exchange."

Anyway, I turned to Chan, Dunbar "fan," and asked "Aren't you embarrased by these--"

He butted in with "I don't give a shit about this stuff. I'm out." (That's what a series of boring, bought championships will do to a team's fans.)

A quick note about the U.S. baseball team. I was about to warn of calls going in the yanks', I mean, the U.S.'s favor, and tonight, it happened before I could get the warning out there. Because they definitely want the U.S. to stay in it as long as possible. In the eighth inning of a tie game, an opposing runner was called out for leaving too early on a tag-up play. He clearly didn't. It would have been the go-ahead run. I didn't see the play live, but after reading about it, when I saw the replay, I wasn't surprised the Majors' number one cheater, Derek Jeter, was the one who took the throw at third on the bullshit play. Jeter knows the game. He was watching. He knew the guy didn't leave early. But he was right there, taking the throw and purposely deceiving the ump. Also, when I read about the winning rally in the bottom of the ninth, I thought, Gee, team with A-Rod and Jeter, I wonder if any errors or cheap hits were involved. I read the play-by-play: Infield single, error, Jeter hit-by-pitch (I didn't see it. There is a chance he didn't lean his elbow out over the plate on purpose...), and an A-Rod single that skimmed off of a couple of fielders' gloves. (I saw that on the replay. As the ball scoots between the shortstop and second baseman and the winning run scores, Jeter rounds second with a big ol' "I have done this all myself, and it was all legitimate" fist pump.) Any Red Sox fan who finds Jeter likable to any degree just doesn't watch him enough.

The funny thing is, A-Rod said about his performance, and I swear I'm not making this up, "Last year, I was the biggest goat, and today I get to be a hero. There's also a lesson to be learned, I guess."

Yeah, the lesson is, you're shitty in important games that count, and you're the "hero" in exhibition games.

More Stern stuff.

Spoken by a true DIVA.
It's all about TV Money & Ratings.
Christ, they make 2090 hats? I can't imagine any sane person actually buying one of those. How deeply pathetic.

The Jeter HBP was legit. It got him on the back of the deltoid; he had no way to take himself out of its line.
Oh, yeah. 2090 was a huge thing. (I guess I should have clarified: It was yankee fans' way of saying "You won't win for another 86 years, ha!....sound of crickets...completely ineffective...") It was, like, the first thing they thought of after 2004, and instead of thinking it out and realizing how stupid they'd look, they figured, Well, this is all we've got, let's go with it. I think most of 'em were smart enough to buy, but some did. I think I'd actually seen this girl before, it was right in my neighborhood. I really need to have a chat with her.

Of course, the other big one was the "got rings?" shirt which, as well as parodying an ad campaign that's no longer new or hip, if it ever was at all, showed how the yanks have 26 (less special) championships to our six. Note: Saying this renders their years of saying "1918" useless, as the whole point of that was "you haven't won in a long time." So, now that we've won way, way, more recently then them, they just find other ways. But they're getting less and less effective, with 2090 being the epitome of that.

I just remember this yankee fan girl at my old job, a few days after the '04 World Series, coming in with one of the "got rings?" shirts. And just saying to her "Are you serious? Do you think anything you do can A. make me feel upset or ashamed or inadequate or B. make me FORGET what just happened?"

Also, Glad I gave Jeter the benefit of the doubt, then. But, still, with those baseball instincts and mystique and stuff, he should have known that the pitch would be there and moved accordingly.
Gee, I guess I was lucky...I was walking around 2nd Ave in your neighborhood yesterday, and managed to avoid seeing either '1918' or '2090'. That's really dumb. As for the "Got Rings?/26-6" shirts, I think the best thing to do is to ask them if they're planning on buying the "26-7" version next winter.
Heh heh. Hey, you may have also passed Chan and I.
are you or any other "Brinks" fans ashamed or embarrassed by "Jeter Blows" shirts?
Am I embarrassed by shirts that imply that being gay or female is somehow wrong? YES. I have written about this before. Many other people don't seem to be, but you'd have to ask them. There is sexism/homophobia among all types of people, Sox fans, Dunbar fans, doctors, lawyer, another guy lives on Sutton Place.... and I don't support any of them. I will say there are more Dunbar fans who are like that, though, because your team attracts more neanderthals than ours does. Not your fault.

I guess your Brinks reference has to do with those Dunbar money trucks. But that's not where Dunbar comes from. However, that is interesting that the name I chose for the richest team in baseball just happened to be the name of a company that carries money around.

I chose Dunbar (it's from a past post, you have to search for it, I'm sick of linking it, it's from around New Year's) because of "Assistant Principal Dunbar" from Adam Sandler's first comedy album.
I see your point on all sides. Yet, you got me wrong on being a "Dunbar" fan. I am a Royals fan.....insert laughter! I just happened to stumble across your blog and read a bit of it. I can see why you would assume that I am a "Dunbar" fan by my questioning of the Jeter shirt though. I look at the Yankees and Red Sox as being USA vs USSR and scoff at the notion that the Sox are the "little engine that could"

In short the Yankees vs the Red Sox is the equivalent of two bald men fighting over a comb.

By the way I am glad that I didn't know that Sandler reference. I have avoided him like I have avoided Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin

but thanks for clearing it up and you folks have a nice day!
And how am I supposed to differentiate between two people who won't sign their damn name?

About your comparing the Sox and yanks:
Imagine if there was some nearby team to the Royals who won all the time, while your team went 86 years without winning and all you heard your whole life was insults from a bunch of ass holes who think they're are better than you because they "decided" to become a fan of the "team of the century" while you were born into the fandom of your team.

Unless you're a fan of either team, you have no idea what it's like. The Red Sox beat the yanks in '04 on behalf of not only Red Sox fans, but of fans of every team or person that was ever an underdog in the history of human competition. We pack that park because we love our team, and that helps the team have money to spend so we can compete. Whereas the yanks just have a virtual endless supply of cash. There's a fucking difference. Their park holds 55,000, ours holds 35,000. We have to stretch every dollar we can out of that little park. For you to see that series and have the same reaction no matter which team won, knowing the history of baseball, well, I just can't understand that.

The Sandler reference: You didn't "miss" anything because I'd never said where I got the name from before. And the whole thing has nothing to do with that. Sandler just happened to use that name once, and when I came up with my Dunbar character, I chose that name because it was funny and seemed to fit, whether or not you've heard the Sandler skit.

Anyway, you may be the world's first condescending Royals fan. You speak like your opinion is fact.

Let's see here. You don't root for the yanks' rival when they play them, you think you're better than everyone else, and you post anonymously. Are you sure you're not a yankee fan?
I post anonymously because it isn't a hobby of mine for people who could or might disagree with me to have access to my email address. If you insist on placing a name to a typed sentence call me GREG.

Anyway you got me wrong. I too as a Royals fan have the stank and bane of the Yankees existence all over me. Remember Chris Chambliss? I don't root for the Red Sox because I see no difference in them and the Yanks to be quite honest. That is the point I am trying to make. I don't like either one at all. Now if the Devil Rays were playing the Yanks for a shot at something meaningful then I would take a rooting interest

So far as you living in proximity to this or that....not sure why that is any different to anyone else being a sports fan and having to hear or take garbage from another sports fan. You aren't getting it any worse or any more. Shit, I said I was a Royals fan correct? You know how much of a down the middle swing it and hit it set-up that is?

I think that I am better than anyone else? Maybe it is the static that is caused by two people typing over a computer and not being face to face? I didn't think that I was being condescending.....lets go to the judges.......

also, not sure if you know this but Boston charges the most for tickets to their games. That should soften the blow of those missing 20,000 seats. That or all the new shiny hats I have seen paraded around in say oh the past two years.

I just don't know how a yanke-hater could look at a team that's such a perfect opposite and at the very least choose that side if forced to.

About the name, it's just hard to know who I'm talking to without some type of moniker attached to a post. Like, if after this I got an unsigned comment regarding this topic, how would I know if that's you or someone else. (Or, subject yourself to having someone else use the anonymous name to make it appear you eat your own farts. Now that was awesome. Drove that guy right outta here.)

It is different because yankee fans feel we are a lower-class human. Yes, after 2004, it was the sweetest time of my life, but I quickly discovered that for the most part that they are the same assholes they always were. As I've said, we could win the next 21 World Series', and they'd still find some bullshit reason as do why they're better than us. If you get that kind of stuff from [insert Royals' rival here], please let me know. (But, keep in mind you've never gone as long as we had without winning. You can't argue that.)

I guess I just think of all the teams besides the yanks as the commoners, and whoever plays them represents all others. That's my point about the ticket prices. That's what we have to do to copete because we don't have as many seats to sell.

And don't get me started on the shiny new hats thing. Yes, a championship will always bring out frontrunners. But don't tell me there weren't Sox fans everywhere before we won it all. I travelled the country, I witnessed it firsthand.

Yes, I remember, well, barely since I was born in '75, the Royals-yanks ALCS's of the past. Again, makes me wonder why you wouldn't have been rooting your ass off for us in '04, knowing what it wuold mean to them not just to lose, but to lose to the Sox, and in such an awesome fashion.

Sorry about the condescending. It just looked that way to me. The "you folks" capped it off.

My sister had a huge crush on George Brett.

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