Monday, February 27, 2006

I Feel So Special

I have received an e-mail from an on-line ticket broker, alerting me that tickets to sold out Red Sox games are currently available. But there's something about the e-mail that makes me feel like they're talking only to me, the Red Sox fan. Maybe it's the big, bright picture of Fenway Park without any seats on top of the Green Monster. Or maybe it's the little accompanying "news story" featuring a shot of Manny Ramirez with short hair.

Either way, I've checked their prices, and I can get a ticket to a weekday afternoon game against Tampa Bay for only $165. Hey, so what if it's only a spring training game.

It's just so funny to see how--oh, you can stop using your inner sarcasm voice now--to see how people who make a living selling things at inflated prices will try to make you feel like you're getting a sweet deal on a legit product from someone who is completely knowledgeable about it. I'm always checking for tickets to sold-out games, so I see a lot of this stuff. Like the guy selling Red Sox tickets on ebay recently, who used big, colorful text, in-depth descriptions of the Red Sox and Fenway Park, and pictures of the view from the seats. But he titled his product "Red Sox tickets, center field, behind Damon!" And they weren't for a game against the yankees.

Who's going to think this guy is a fan of the team? My point is, if you don't know crap about your product, don't pretend to know everything. Because you're going to make a mistake, and it might be a major one. You have to realize that the people shopping for your product are the ones who actually do know about it. You're not going to get minor mistakes past them, let alone a major one like telling a Red Sox fan to buy your tickets, because with your tickets, they'll get to look at Johnny Damon all game, when a month earlier, he signed with the rival club in a move that even non-baseball fans heard about.

There's a lot of other funny salesman crap, like the use of exclamation points. "Row 1!" Yeah, of the grandstand. "Best seats you can get!" I can't get the fifty other ones currently up for auction listed directly above and below yours which are ten times closer to the field and not behind a pole? And the agencies are just as bad. They sell tickets to every single team's events in all different sports. There's just no way they could get all the facts straight about every team. For that, there would have to be some sort of worldwide, integrated network of millions of resources and references that would have to be available right in your own home. A virtual "web" of information at everyone's fingertips. That'll be the day.

Funny how the more sources of knowledge become available to Americans, the stupider we get. Someday a real rain...nah.

As you know, it's called marketing. But in this case, marketing by amateurs. And to run up with someone like you. They never had a chance. Subtle compliment.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States