Wednesday, February 08, 2006


New Wife Of Mr. Dunbar Thanks Son In Classy Full-Page Ad

Boston, Mass. (TJ)-- The new bride of Mr. Donald Dunbar, the former Redsoxnation family's mother and wife beloved by relatives until she defected to the rival Dunbar family in December, is trying to mend fences with a full-page newspaper advertisement thanking the Redsoxnation clan.

The ad, which ran inside the The Boston Globe on Wednesday, reads, "Many thanks to my great children and ex-husband. It was a privilege and an honor."

The message, displayed in the form of a letter with her signature, is superimposed over a photo of the Redsoxnation's mother in action.

She made the unpopular decision to leave her family who treated her like royalty and move in with, and subsequently marry into, the Dunbar family. Her son and other family members had been repeatedly molested by Mr. Dunbar previous to her leaving.

Just before the ad was placed, the new Mrs. Dunbar was seen cavorting with grandpa Dunbar, known to Dunbars as simply "the boss," saying how she couldn't wait to do things "the Dunbar way"--a way which features strict guidelines that consistently lead to boring family members, and lately, family failure to an extreme degree.

Some accuse Mr. Dunbar of buying his wife's love. A source close to the boss responded to the notion, "The Dunbar family always plays by the rules, but winning [chokes], excuse me, winning is job one."

*The above article was partly plagiarized from the New York Daily News.

Does anyone want to chip in for a full page ad in the New York Post (because you know Johnny doesn't read the Times) that says "You're not welcome, Johnny"?

I really hope people don't see this and say, "Okay, well everything's okay now." I really feel like now Dunbar fans and Sox fans alike should unite in their hatred of the current Johnny Damon. This will only make Dunnies hate him more, so we really could reach that goal.

So, please, Red Sox fans, before deciding to cheer Johnny Damon, think of him making the conscious decisions to sit and chill with George Steinbrenner, play for a team he claimed he never could be a part of, and drive a stake through your heart by not only rewarding your loyalty to him by leaving you, AND choosing to play for your team's rival. And also remember that we already gave him all the cheers and love any player could ever wish for. Then, do whatever the hell you want. If I'm the last guy booing him, so be it. Won't be the first time I think differently than everybody else.

Also, did Royals and A's fans get full page ads? Will Dunbar fans get one when he moves on? Another man without a country, like Roger. (Don't get me started on those rumors.)

All that said, I am getting more and more excited about Coco Crisp. I love Coco already. All this negative energy I have from the Johnny thing will be churned up and turned into positive energy for the guy who chose to play for us. I am confident that when he wins a World Series with us, he won't think, "Hey, I wonder if the yankees would like me to play for them?"

A. I love satire
2. I will be glad to contribute to the ad. I vote for "Go to Hell" superimposed over that picture of the hair-flying, Jesus-looking Johnny Damon you gave me, the Johnny that is now dead, gone and pressed under Steinbrenner's thumb. (I was going to use another phrase other than "pressed under Steinbrenner's thumb"--something more pro-active on Johnny's part--but I had to censor myself as I'm your mother, ya know?
This Dunbar action is the gift that keeps on giving. "Grampa Dunbar" and "The Dunbar Way" are just solid gold.
I see the starved for ratings network, NBC, approving a deal for a sit-com called, you guessed it, The Dunbars. And Johnnie Damon will be deliriously bood when he strides to the plate for his first at bat at the Fens. And I will smile. He'll line a single to Trot in right, and will be promptly thrown out by Tek caught stealing.
We really need to make this ad happen. I'm in. Seriously. What do we have to lose? Some money? Nothing compared to the satisfaction of seeing that ad.
If you could get that ad to run in a major paper, it would be a triumph of Red Sox fandom.

Damon could turn into the next A-Rod if he's not careful. Generally disliked by both groups of fans.
Sour Grapes, Whaa, Whaa, Whaa!!!
Better yet Peter, Johnny pops one just left of Pesky Pole and slaps Jeter a high one after crossing the plate. What great return to Fenway. - A member of the Dunbar family.
Who is that masked man??
Your dumb idea about posting a counter ad is so childish and foolish, I'm embarassed to hear you are a Red Sox fan. Thats something churlish mfyfans would do. Leave him be and fa' crissakes let him go - your 'dejected man love' is really showing. A lot.

It was a nice gesture, JD, thanks. I don't even care if it was someone else's idea. Who cares.
Way too much Damon on the brain there Jere. The move (Johnny's) is the sort of tasteless act that defines the modern sports star. The belligerence of Steinbrenner and a capable Cashman look like a kids playing with a top shelf chemistry set. The joy to be had is in the likelyhood of another expensive explosion, or a completely shameless "season for the ages". Either way, Crisp looks like a much more exciting player. Money makes the world go round. Curious what you think of the A's at this point - forget the 30 or 40 games they MIGHT get out of F. Thomas. The best team $60 million buys or what? Chatty? Bosnian
Another lame comment by another anonymous Dunbar fan. (2 above, not Bosnian's). Bosnian, haven't thought much about the A's. Will get back to you.
From Eric Wilbur's column on 2/8:

Johnny Damon has spent all his time lately convincing himself and the world what a great decision it was to move on to the Yankees. If this is his desperate attempt at making sure he doesn't completely destroy his legacy in Boston -- a motion that would have been an act of class on Dec. 21 -- is today far too little, and much too late.

I this is an excellent summary. If I could take out an ad, it would simply say, "Sorry, Johnny, but money can't buy you love." I've never quoted the Beatles before, and I probably never will again (My apologies, Peter, but I'm not a big fan), but it's the most relevant response I can muster.
Yeah, I like how people are telling me I think about Damon too much when he's the one writing leeters to his old team when he should be concerned with getting in good with Dunbar fans, who never liked him anyway. (And you know they'll try that "Only a true yankee would show the class of writing to his old fans" excuse which would be total bullshit.

And, again, apologies to Peter, but I love someone who can admit that they're "not a big Beatles fan."

Seriously, by goal as a musician is to have some reviewer note a Beatles influence in one of my songs and then tell them "Actually, I never got into the Beatles." (Yes, I know, indirect influence, but still...)

I'm down with Lennon, and the pre-drug era stuff, but just not a fan in general.
Wow, from Dunbar to Peter to Beatles back to Peter to Lennon...that's why this is such a great FING BLOG. I AM HUMBLED BY SHEER GENIUS.
And about the Wilbur article: It was good. Rare that a Boston write says exactly what I'm saying.

But then he goes on to use the term "I've often maintained..." You either maintain or you don't. You can't maintain something some of the the time. That's not maintaining at all. Am I right?

And thanks, Peter
No, you certainly can't "often maintain." That's like sometimes being dedicated or something. You're either in or you're out! No inbetweens!
First, don't think I didn't appreciate the pun there in the title. Revolutionary, even.

Well, I might have to be the voice of dissent here this one time.

First of all, the only Boston writer I hate more than Wilbur is Shag-nasty. Wilbur is a douche of the highest order, and fan sentiment aside, the culture of sportswriters pimping their vendettas against athletes like it's something to be impressed with/ proud of is just totally annoying to me. Wilbur's always been that way.

Here's how I see the Damon ad thing- guy takes money, runs off to rival team, does nothing: gets slammed for it.

Guy takes money, runs off to rival team, then graciously thanks them for his time playing for them: gets slammed for it.

As annoyed as I was (am) at his defection to New York, I try to keep one thing in mind: these guys aren't Red Sox fans. The impact of their moving away from Boston and, potentially, to the Yankees, is something they (I'm sure) grasp the gravity of, but it's also something I think is assuaged really easily by a bunch of zeros on paycheck. I think that's only natural.

So now he's on his new team, and he's making nice with his new fans. I don't know what anyone would expect him to do. Remember when we came thisclose to signing Bernie Williams? Would it have been cool with you if Bernie didn't jump feet first into being a Red Sox? Not with me.

I can appreciate booing him, I can appreciate "demonizing" him as a player, because he's our rival. I'm sure even he can get that through his skull. But demonizing the decision and his attempts to show appreciation after the fact seems really, really unfair to me. My opinion. It's like people asked for something from him after his decision, got it, and then slammed him for it. I just don't see it.

Also, the Beatles (and Nirvana) are my favorite band of all time.
Glad you liked the pun! And I did almost say apologies to Peter AND BSM on the semi-anti-Beatles stuff.

Anyway, I admit that Johnny, by going to the yanks, put himself in a position where he couldn't win with me. But still, I just personally got an immediate bad taste in my mouth when I saw the ad. I think he should be saying "Sorry I went to the team you hate" if he's gonna open his mouth at all.

I do occasionally start to think that maybe I'm making to big of a deal about it, think about how it's a business, etc, but then I think He chose to play for the yankees, and it makes me want to puke proverbial blood and I go back to having a very proud hatred of Johnny Damon the baseball player.

Don't quite understand what you mean about making nice with his new team, since I was saying how he's not doing that by continually dwelling on his past and writing messages to Sox fans instead of paying attention to his new teammates and fans.
First let me say that what makes baseball fun is whatever you make of it- so I don't think you're "wrong" to hate him for going to the Yankees, especially because I'm finding it hard to avoid that sentiment in myself.

You do make a good point about his focusing alot on his former team- I would agree that, to me, he seems like a guy that is beginning to regret his decision. We both live in NYC- after the signing, they've not said word one about him around here. He was a cult hero in Boston. I think his impression that moving to NYC will step up his "celeb" status is misguided.

Here's something I've felt for a while- people often wonder angrily why a player can't be honest and say they "just went for the money." I think this is an unreasonable expectation.

Figures in public life, like us, do shit for unenviable reasons. Most people, on a public level, admit to their less than savory motivations- in private, to each other and among friends we do. But as a "front"- there's usual a mild interpretation we give.

I think it's unreasonable to expect a guy to come out and say "I did this for the money." Not only is that a crass thing to physically say, but it would also make his life in his new "home" miserable- "I came here not because I wanted to, but because they gave me enough money to stop the gag reflex."

This is more or less what I meant by the "play nice with the new team thing." Yea, it's nauseating to see him gabbing with the boss, and donning the pinstripes, and talking about the "Yankee way." But he's playing to the crowd. This is what an athlete does. When he doesn't people- not guys like us, but John Q Fan- rips him a new one.

At the end of the day, though, in basic black and white terms, having a player as much as I loved Johnny Damon playing for Them is completely repellant to me. But the way I interpret it (which certainly isn't "right") is that I'd feel like I was betraying the reasons I "liked" him. Save for being a Yankee of course, which allows me to *not* like him and root against him. None of this makes sense...

I think I can join the boo parade personally on 99% of the levels most people are on, but when he takes the impetus to thank his fans in Boston and say he enjoyed his time when he certainly wasnt' *expected* to, I guess I choose to be less cynical about it in that specific instance. I am, however, cynical that he finds, for instance, grown men telling him how to cut his hair as a normal and acceptable practice. I'm flexible that way!

I should stop typing now.

PS- I'm emailing you a funny/ relevant picture.
But the way I interpret it (which certainly isn't "right") is that I'd feel like I was betraying the reasons I "liked" him

amend that sentence to add the following snippet: blindly trumpet his shortcomings and boo him at every turn like I never really liked him. Some people are doing this- I think it's at odds with Jere's reaction, though, because he is reacting with the basis that he loved Damon so much, that it's moved him to be *this* pissed off about it.
Wow, B.S. I'm 0 for 2 with you. Interpol AND the Beatles. Yowzers.

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