Saturday, December 24, 2005

Stirring My Ass Off

From my blog, 6/25/05: "I can't wait to hear what yankee fans say when, next off-season, the yanks go courting the symbol of everything they despise, Johhny Damon. And then what they say when he turns them down."

I was half right. I'm still sick over this, having to look around on the subway to see Johnny in a yankee uniform on the back of every newspaper. People talk about how it's the Red Sox' own damn fault. But I just can't feel for someone because they were offered only millions and millions of dollars to play a game every day where they're loved by legions of people and can opt to have slightly longer hair if that's what they want.

If the yanks were some poor team who put this huge offer on the table, knowing it would make or break them, I could see Johnny thinking that he was respected by them more than he was by the Sox. But they can afford to make a mistake. Only someone totally corrupted by an agent couldn't see that. But WTFWJDD? Sell the soul, of course.

My mom had asked me for that picture I had of Johnny (the one that used to be my profile pic), enlarged to poster-size, for Christmas. I did it for her, but had yet to trim it down and frame it when I heard the news. So, today, I made the "presentation," with everyone already knowing what the gift would be, groaning as my mom unrolled it. She's still trying to decide whether to go the burn route or give it to my cousin, the yankee fan, and say, "Here, cut it and frame it yourself."

It was funny hearing my mom explain to my four-year old nephew why we're all talking about burning/destroying the man in the picture.

Merry Christmas to everybody who's into that. Remember what Christmas is all about though: Tracking down long-haired, bearded men and crucifying the shit out of their disloyal asses. (Maybe that's why the yanks like to shave their stolen property right away.)

Oh wait, Easter's the crucifying, Christmas is the birth. Whatever. It's all bullshit.

Wow, what religious bitterness on what should be a happy day! And I was going to capitalize the Chan in Chanuka in my original post, but I knew you would. Take care. At least you're with your family. Ya gotta be thankful for that.
I thought it was kinda funny, actually.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States