Friday, December 02, 2005


My friend Brian (right, holding two mini-golf clubs in an "X" and flaring his nostrils) has developed a new form of writing. It started when he wrote the word "Provincetown" in an email to me. He added some other words within that word. It looked like this: Pro(rock) vince (Neil) (Mr.)T (rent to) own. So you've got Prorock, who's a friend of ours, Vince Neil, of Motley Crue fame, Mr. T, of A-Team and Rocky III fame, and that rental place, Rent To Own.

It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but, unless you're stupid, you know how cool this is, so now it's rampant.

There are so many ways you can go with this language. You can just do (W)ran(gler jeans)(Astro)dom(e) stuff, or you can try to connect letters with themes, like, if I wanted to say "Chan," using words that describe Chan, I could write Ch(inese) (m)an. But it's more fun the random way, I think.

Then you can have words within words, which, like in algebra, would require brackets. (party on, Gar)th(Kit K)at loo[ney (Ca)bin(Boy)](Carlton Ban)ks like this.

There are so many ways you can go with this language. You could add an entire novel to each letter of a ten-page e-mail. I think Brian (left, with microphone and Samhain T-shirt) is better at it than me. He seems to know just what to do with each word. He also wrote "Colbert" as Col(Porter)(Yogi)bert, which uses two incorrectly spelled names, but they would be pronounced correctly when said out loud. Another good one of his was "delay" as del (taco)(Rachel R)ay.

The language rules.

[Bonus edit: Here's a sample e-mail exchange where Brian & I use the language (with him using it much more and in cooler ways than I):

Dane Cook's hosting SNL tonight. Maybe Jessica could (surf)pu(nx)ll(oyd moseby) some stri(keout=K)(Ana)ngs and(y duncan) we could sit in the front row and hang out with Co(nan)o('brien)k(=strikeout) after. He's on (Dane)Co(ok)nan right now. Oh my, Chan flipped to the lat(t)e lat(t)e show, and was like, "Wait," as if he were waiting to see something coming up, so we watch and they're all "Up next, a performance from Lifehouse" and I started crack(house)(alarm k)ing up, and Chan was all "that's not what I was waiting for." key: "Ana Ng" is a They Might Be Giants song. I think u can figure out the rest. Yo, Update: Turns out what chan was waiting for was the author of Bridget Jones' Diary? I'm all "What?" and he's all "I just wanna see what she has to say" and I'm all "Is this a joke?" and he's all "No" and I'm all "TJ"

I just read the Bridget (Ed "Too Tall")Jones (hey Ironhead, whats with this)thing(y?) and got (turf)totally distracted and off(sides) track in math class. That's funny. I saw the blog about the langu(ished saus)age- swee(ny Mur)t(i)! Wheres that mini golf shot (Abe)from(an)? T(iki Barber)J(ake "The Snake" Roberts) by(week) me for(th and 26) not(wurst) remembering. Yeah, we're(d wild stuff) both psych(obilly)ed for (Ron)Dane(ish) Cook. Kaitlin (Anthony's girlfriend) said his new C(C DeVille)D(Dee Ramone) isn't that (George Thoro)good(n plenty) though, (I want c)and(y!) I'm pretty surprised he's hosting. He's not like (Troy)a(ikman) big (Bart)star(r) (qu)or(terback sack!) (Say)anything. I gotta go(es wide right!)...I'm ad(vertising)ding(dongs) and subtracting rational expressions. ? -Brian]

That's a real(science)ly inter(pol sucks)esting new form of the written (Jessica)language of Eng(de)lish(us). I am (un chien Andalusia) looking forward to using (hold)it(now, hit it) more.
Very nice work, WC. All around.

I totally used the sentence "There are so many ways you can go with this language" twice in this post.

And to answer Brian's question: I have absolutely no idea where that pic is from. I don't even think we've played mini-golf together, so maybe it belongs to you, and just ended up with me from when we lived together. Do you want that back?

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Location: Rhode Island, United States