Inspired by commercial for that new Pacino movie about gambling, Chan and I had the following conversation tonight:

Me: I'm thinking about becoming a professional gambler.

Chan: Please don't.

Me: Fine.

So we got that goin' for us. Chan also asked me if he could throw out the sugar packet I'd been saving for about two months, because I'd written a phone number on it. He also came out with this gem during the yankee game: "I like McCarver." After laughing for twenty minutes, I asked him why. He said it was because Tim explained much of the game of baseball to Chan on TV when he came over from Hong Kong in the late eighties. So that over "over-explaining" technique actually is effective on some people. Chan did admit that he's noticed the man still saying the same crap all these years later.

This takes me back to what I was complaining about earlier with ESPN. These networks try so hard to gain and keep new viewers that they make the game almost unwatchable to BASEBALL FANS.

McCarver was on fire tonight. At one point, Buck said that Chone Figgins was born in 1978, while Rocky I was released in 1976 (long story). McCarver chimes in with "So Figgins was just three when Rocky I came out."

He also defended Bernie Williams' ridiculous post-season records by saying "Hey, Bernie can't control that the post-seasons used to be shorter." But when it comes to the MVP vote, Tim just can't support the idea of voting for a DH. Hey, Tim! Ortiz can't control that his manager doesn't play him in the field! Idiot.

He also brought up the whole "code of conduct" issue regarding the Showalter issue. To me, the funniest thing about that is how the yanks broke the "code" at the same time the Rangers were breaking it. In fact, I still think the yanks didn't even know they were playing for home field, since A. No one in any media I heard said anything about it and B. Torre admitted he didn't know the yanks had a chance to clinch the division on Saturday and C. Cashman was calling the league offices that day to make sure there would be no playoff if the teams ended in a tie.

At least Buck came out and said that the yanks should have won their own game and not complained about what the Texas Rangers were doing.

Oh, but there's more. I was watching Tim McCarver's TV show last weekend (makes face like Krist Novoselic when admitting to playing a festival with Extreme) and he was interviewing his good friend Don Zimmer. After sucking ZImmer's ass for the first twenty minutes, Tim finally asked him about the Pedro incident. Now, I already know the man's thoughts on this, as I read it in his book (makes same face as earlier). But, if you didn't know, basically Zimmer takes full responsibility for charging Pedro unprovoked. He says he wanted to bull-charge Pedro because of his past "head-hunting." (Of course they brought up the time when Pedro sent Jeter and Soriano to the hospital and DIDN'T mention that one of those was a foul ball that also caught a piece of hand, and both those guys put their hands right into the strike zone when they swing. No one ever tells the truth about that. It's always "Pedro hit two guys in a row." He hit one guy on a ball IN the strike zone and the other guy fouled a ball off. For a strike.) So, after Zimmer admits to being totally in the wrong, and saying how Pedro didn't owe him an apology, well, here's what McCarver DIDN'T say: "Well, Don, now that you've said that, I guess I owe the entire baseball world a huge apology for immediately condemning Mr. Pedro Martinez for something he was completely innocent of. Now I'll go watch the tapes of A-Rod totally challenging Jason Varitek before Jason took him up on it, so I can see how wrong I was for saying that Jason should've taken his mask off before punching that little show pony."

Michael Leggett is gonna love this post. Is there anyone left who doesn't realize Tim McCarver is a yankee fan?

About the actual game: The yanks, in Prime Time and on network TV (you know, they do deserve it--after all, they are the defending World Champs. It's not like they blew a 3-0 lead in the ALCS and didn't even make it to the World Series. I really owe them an apology. Someday, the Red Sox will win the World Series, then we'll get a little respect.), won thanks in part to the cheapest two-out hit by Sheffield, leading to a three-run double by Robinson Can o' Corn, which was essentially the difference in the game. The Angels were screwed on the ridiculous ground-rule double rule, which really should be changed to allow the umps to let a runner to score from first on a ball bouncing over the wall, if there are two outs and he or she was definitely going to score.

Then there was Vlad's attempt to steal second in a key spot. The ball beat him, and he was called out to end the inning. It was a stupid move. But, still, I said to Chan, "I couldn't tell if Jeter even tagged him, but the guy would've called him out either way thanks to Jeter selling of the call." Sure e-fucking-nough, they come back from commercial, and McCarver himself is telling us how Jeter never made the tag, as they show us a replay. And, again, I'll tell you what McCarver didn't, but should have, said: "Kids at home, remember, that's very, very poor sportsmanship. Cheating to win will make you feel empty inside, especially if your team is chock full of all-stars anyway. If you cheat, your family and pets will die slowly and painfully while you watch. Also, say no to the steroids that your teammates are taking openly. Deceiving the umpires and the fans of your game are wrong, kids. I've also noticed that Jeter always catches pop-ups with one hand, Don't do that either."

That guy, Jeter, he just holds up his glove as if he just tagged the runner, and starts running off the field, making the ump think he HAD to have tagged him. I love the rare times when umps don't fall for his horseshit. (You have to watch every game to see it.) He also did that cheating move on a stolen base against the Twins in the playoffs last year--and later admitted that he "got away with one." What a total embarrassment to the game.

Still, I'll hear everyone, including Sox fans, say how great he is, and every time any yankee does anything good, even if Jeter had nothing to do with the play, on any network, I will be forced to see him clapping in the dugout. Because, you know, that's one of his intangibles. If Sweden scores a goal in a soccer game against Finland, and I clap at that moment, does the network showing the game cut to a shot of me in my apartment? No. Because I didn't fucking do anything.