Monday, October 31, 2005

Lez Zep

Have you heard of this all-lesbian Zeppelin cover band called Lez Zeppelin?

I saw them recently, and had a mixed reaction.

The good: The Jimmy Page woman was great. Dressed the part, acted the part, and, most impressive of all, played the part. As in played almost every note exactly like Page himself did. She even broke out the...

as well as the "you know those guitars that are like...double guitars?" guitar, which I guess I didn't get a shot of. The Bonham woman was a hard-hitter who also played her parts ovaries-on, but, like everyone except Page, didn't dress like a British guy from the seventies. As in most band reviews, this one will tell you that the bass player, the female John Paul Jones, was, uh, pretty good. Can't complain. And the Robert Plant lady was a really talented singer.

The bad: Okay, if you're gonna be a Zeppelin cover band, you better make a group decision on whether or not you're gonna go all out, looks-wise. I guess they figure the lesbian thing is the real gimmick, and as long as they play Zeppelin songs, nobody's gonna ask much more of them. But why wouldn't a person--any person--want to dress up like Robert Plant? Actually, she was wearing a pair of jeans and a simple black top, which Plant has been known to wear. But they weren't seventies-style jeans. And she didn't even have blond hair. Or curly hair. That stuff's no big deal, though. What bothered me was that she didn't sing in that real primal scream-style of Plant's. Her voice was more like Christina Aguilera's or something. Between that and the way she'd gesture at the crowd with her hand up in the air like a drunken sorority chick at a karaoke bar, it almost felt at times like I was watching Avril Levine's band do a one-off Zeppelin cover. I don't know, maybe you have to be born with a voice like Robert Plant's. (Or exchange your soul for one.) She also seemed a little uncomfortable up there. (Which is where a blond wig and an over-the-top outfit would come in handy.)And when you play "Whole Lotta Love" a little too fast, it sounds like rap-metal.

But it was cool to hear a bunch of Zeppelin songs live. I don't think I'd ever seen a cover band before this one. Not even those midgets who play Kiss songs.

They played most of the classics. Except for "Stairway." The highlight was the fifteen-minute "Dazed & Confused."

I really liked the show. It was fun. The singer can only get better with her Plant mannerisms and style. If you want to hear Zeppelin songs live, I'd definitely recommend these ladies over some middle-aged wanker dudes pretending to be Zeppelin because they've got nothing else going for them in their lives, whom I just assume make up all other Zeppelin cover bands.

I read that there's also an AC/D-She. And a Cheap Chick. I don't know if those are all-lesbian groups or just all-female.

Hopefully, by the time you read this, Theo will be signed.

Good point on the last comment section Jere....Theo weighing his decision. What did Lucchino do to him??? Rape and sodomization comes to mind. I never trusted that guy with his phony smile and "never better" attitude. I think Theo just wants to do his job without "daddy-bear Lucchino" having to look over his shoulder like an overanxious school teacher who's time of the month is upon us. And that's the way it is.......11am Monday Monday, on All Hallow's day before eve.
Ahem. I finally got your Combat question right, and you ignore it?
And on Theo, he was obviously waiting to see how the Yankees situation turned out before signing a deal with the Red Sox. Can you blame him wanting to come to the greatest franchise in the history of sports? Now that Cashman is back in the fold, he figured why not come back.
You're exactly right with everything you say, Nick. You are king of the world. Yes, the score flashes. Congratulations.
One trick pony.
I seriously doubt that Theo gave any consideration whatsoever to becoming the GM for the Yankees. That is not an enviable job by any stretch of the imagination. If there were any control issues between Theo and Larry and said issues were responsible for the hold up in the negotiation process with the Red Sox, that stands as proof that Theo is not in this business to become someone's puppet. And I'm sorry but Cashman can't so much as adjust his privates without permission from George. Who would put themselves through that kind of torture? Theo is too smart and too talented to waste himself in a humilating situation like that.
Everyone wants to be a Yankee, at least for a while.
You're totally right again, Nick. I wish I was a yankee. I'd kill to feel the mystique that only pinstripes can provide. Thanks for allowing me to admit my true feelings. Please by me a shitty brand new yankee hat. And one for Bill Lee, too, because he told me he'd also secretly love to be a boring robot clone.

Now Bill Lee was one cool dude.

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