Ever have one of those strange moments where you suddenly think to yourself, "I can't feel my left leg...," or, "I think my eye is out of it's socket...," or, "My penis is gone!"?

I never have.

I was watching a little bit of the John Roberts Senate hearings today. Not only is this guy a favorite of George Bush, he IS George Bush. In his mannerisms, I mean. That serious look while he's spewing bullshit, leading into the reassuring smile of pure evil. What a phony. He's also similar to Georgie, and most politicians, in that as many times as you ask him the same question, he always finds a way to avoid it. Terrible job, John.

The other night, I guess it would be, uh, Monday night, Chan had the Monday Night Football game on. Seeing a big fat fullback in a Falcons jersey, my thoughts turned immediately to Craig "Ironhead" Heyward. And an old commercial came rushing back to me. I can't believe I'd forgotten about it. I'll refresh your memory:

"But Ironhead, what's with this thing-y?"

Wells vs. a Blue Jay pitcher tonight, then back home for the Athletics. And what will that mean?

That's right, bad news for the Athletics.

Finally, I have a new slogan for the NAACP, if they'd like to use it: "Wasting a mind? Terrible job."