Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Every Cloud Has A Silver Bomb That I've Planted In yankee Stadium

"And the Red Sox have suffered a crushing defeat." --Joe Castiglione

Was anyone else screaming at Francona for even thinking about taking Wake out? For me, it was the kind of pained scream you make when you watch someone pull the wrong wire out of a bomb, and you just know all is lost. (Are bombs really made that way?)

It's rare for me to actually believe that the Sox have no chance of winning a game, especially when they're ahead at the time. But, as you know, I have a theory called "Never Take Out Wakefield." He wasn't tired. He was one out away from getting out of it. If you have to take him out, let him finish the inning first. Then use Timlin to start the next inning--when there's no one on base.

The way I see it is: Hitters hate knuckleballers. The best thing you can do for a hitter in a key spot is to suddenly let him face a non-knuckleballer. No matter how good the next pitcher is, he's still just a normal pitcher. Which is what hitters are used to facing. In a baseball world where the last thing you want to do is have to get the bullpen involved, you should realize how special Wakefield is, and keep him in as long as possible. Yes, sometimes he doesn't know where the ball is going when it leaves his hand...but neither does the batter! That's the advantage of Wakefield. Leave him in. Always. For first place's sake.

The men left on base killed me tonight, too. When injuries force Hyzdu to have to start on September 21st, you kind of have to expect that some runners might be left on, though.

So now we'll have to catch the yanks again in the last few days, just like we did in '78. "But wait," you're saying, "it was the yanks who caught US in '78. Terrible job, Jere." Well, as has never been reported by anyone except my dad, the truth is that after we blew the 14-lead, we found ourselves down 4 in the loss column on September 17th. And we came back to tie it up, forcing the one-game playoff. And as we know, every time the yanks and Sox have played a one-game playoff, the road team has won. And if there is one this year, it'll be at yankee Stadium. Maybe this is the baseball gods' plan for us to systematically exorcise all our past demons over the next 86 years. And this year we'll have Alex Cora beat them with a cheap home run on October 3rd.

Also, a note on tonight's yankee game: The cheapest hit of all time by Matsui led to Lawton's two-out homer, giving them their only runs in a one-run victory. It was a bloop to center, and Tejada did his know patented "I'll miss it!" call, making all the fielders around him back away so HE could be the one to let it fall at his feet. I'm just sayin'.

Talked to my friend Brian tonight, who brought up my drawing of that Orioles logo, the one that says "We only try against YOUR team." Good call, Brian. So true.

Tomorrow it's--THE DAY OFF.

[Bonus stuff: Michael Kay, who has been pi-diddly-issing me off more than ever lately, came out with a beaut tonight. On the five hundredth blimp shot of the night, he proclaimed, "For some reason, yankee Stadium just looks better than most stadiums from above, especially when it's packed."

I sat there, knowing that Chan was just waiting for me to put my foot through the screen, silent. I waited a few beats, holding in my rage, before calmly saying in my nicest voice, "Maybe because that's how god wants it." I don't think Chan got it.

By the way, if MLB, and especially the yanks, care so much about the hurricane victims, how 'bout taking the money that it costs to fly a blimp around all night just so we can see the same shot of the stadium over and over, and sending THAT down to New Orleans...]

I've read a lot of Red Sox blogs, but you crack me up the most. You're so obsessed w/the Yanks that you make your fear of our beloved ballclub more obvious than how much your bullpen sucks. You won one fucking ring and you suddenly believe that the Red Sox are messiah for all of New England.. Don't forget the 11, that's right 11 Division titles and 6 ALCS we have won in recent years. I could give a fuck about your four straight in last year's ALCS. When it comes down to it; I can't wait to read blog on Oct. 3rd and hear your shitty rants about next year.. blah, blah, blah. You bitches are heading back to where you belong and back to where you've been for the past 86 years.
By the way since you live in NY, drive out to New Rochelle and visit the Beechmont. We can talk baseball, drink some Jameson and you can hang out with a bucnch of crazy Irish and Italian Yankee fans.
I have to agree with your theory on Wakefield. I to enjoy your blog but I live in Cardinal country so I scream shoot the damn bird and the yank
If you think I'm afraid of the yanks, you must be reading this blog upside-down or something. I've been trying to show people who don't watch them regularly how LITTLE they should be feared.

The thing about "one ring." That's what you were all making fun of us for all that time. That's what your 1918 shirts meant. We got one. We ended the drought. Wouldn't you be happy if you were me? Especially the way we did it?

About the "11, that's right, 11" recent division titles. I like how you use the "that's right" phrase in a case where you're wrong. Let's go through these 11 "recent" division titles: 2004, '03, '02, '01, '00, 1999, '98, '96....uh, that's eight. Before that, we go back to '81, if you want to count that "first half champs" thing. That's nine. Then you've got '80 before that, and '78 before that. So, your "recent cutoff" would be 1978? You don't include '77 or '76? You know, compared to the time of the dinosaurs, you really have 26 recent championships.

You don't care about last year's ALCS? Would you take a polygraph test? I guess we could all pretend that nothing bad ever happened to us, or that those things just don't count because we don't want them to. But that's the difference between Sox fans and yankee fans. We live in the real world and you live in a fantasy land with magical memory-erasing fairies, and umpires flying around, trying to catch the dollar bills that float from the crumbling Steinbrenner Oak.

I feel like even if we win only a few more World Series' over the next few decades, let's say, in 2009, 2014, and 2022, you'd still say, in 2023, "You bitches are going right back to where you were for the last seven years, and the four before that, and the four before that, and the 86 before that!!!"

Anyway, I guess we'll see what happens this year. And you'll be confident knowing that whatever happens, you'll come up with some way to make it appear to favor you. So you've got that going for you.

Thanks for the invite, but I don't drink. I do appreciate it, along with your near-perfect spelling, grammar, and stats. You're actually the most accurate yankee fan I've had here.

But there's always room for improvement.
By & Large, the people wearing NY Yankee Caps are CFAs(Casual Fan A-Hoes) & CFBs(Casual Fan Biatches), in this town.

Many of them, would get lost on the 4 Train.

MLB's "Best Interests", is what FOX, tells them, hence the 30 Day-30 Game Death March.

It's not about the game-it's about ratings. & The Devil Wears Pinstripes!
Good comeback Jere. But the facts are the facts. Since Aug. 22, the Yankees have gone 21-8 and the Sox a miserable 17-13. That dates back to August 22nd. The Yankees played great baseball and we didn't. It's not over but it's no one's fault but our own. With the bullpen in tatters it's amazing we played .500 ball and had to hit lights out (out? How about vaporized) baseball just to do that.
I thought Wakefield looked spent at the end of 7, even though his pitch count was 85 or so. I would have had Papelbon warming to start the 8th and not waited until the game was just about tied to bring in location-less Timlin. He's been great the past few weeks, but only when he starts an inning. Everyone reading this knows these things all too well. BOTTOM LINE---21-8 vs. 17-13. Nothing else matters. Put the blame on our ineptitude, not the Yankees lucky charms. Good teams get good luck. They make it. And the Yankees are a good team. At some levels, we are better, but now, nope. It ain't over, and we could be dead even in 15 hours, so disapointment has not turned into resignation. But it's not fun.
Kinda funny how the Yankee fan waits until they finally overtake us to puff their chest. Must have been weird for him as he started watching games these last couple weeks to see Alan Embree on his team.

Great fans, man. Great fans.
"I've read a lot of Red Sox blogs, but you crack me up the most."

In other words, this little moron is admitting that he's obsessed with the Red Sox. Just like every other mouth-breathing dumb-fuck MFY fan who had to replace their '1918' shirts with one of those "got rings" shirts that show off their insecurities. Then again, the obsession is at least somewhat understandable given that their team committed the Biggest Post-Season Choke Job Ever last October, and it came at the hands of the Sox. And of course, given that those 26 rings all came in the previous century, and they've done nothing but choke in this one.

By the way Jere, I was just listening on the radio, but it sure sounded to me like Wakey had run out of gas, so I didn't disagree with Tito for taking him out. Timlin just didn't do his job. It happens.
1/2 game up fr the yankees.. good.. now the Red Sox can do their "us against the world" thing.. and the yankees can be the ultime metaphore fr choking...

keep the faith!.. we'll win aslong as Tito doesn't put Timlin on the mound with runners on (everyone in Sox nation knows not to do that, why doesn't Tito!?!)

Hey Micheal Leggett, I agree FOX is kinda on the corrupt side.. they bank on the Red Sox / Yankees contests.. and helping fix pollitical elections and creating a fear state in this once proud nation.. their baseball and football broadcasts are so damn corny.. and the commercial breaks are through the roof!

Keep the faith.. Red Sox are the Yankee's daddy... as long as Tito doesn't mess up the bullpen.

Hanley had a walk there
BSM's got it right--the yankee army finally arrives, right on time to watch the last week of the season, as usual. Interesting that they have forgotten the "Biggest Choke Job in the History of Team Sports," because the rest of the universe sure hasn't--and never will. I think the New Rochelle line is a smokescreen-this person is actually Suzyn Waldman.
I did notice that this person waited to comment until the yanks were in first. They probably wish the season ended today, because they know the yanks have to play the last three in Boston, and today's yankee fan in still trying to figure out how to deal with actual drama.

The other thing I forgot to mention: In that person's defense, about the 11/8 mixup, the 1 is relatively close to the 8 on a keyboard. I mean, at the very least, they are on the SAME keyboard, so sometimes you just hit the wrong key by mistake. And then hit it againby mistake. And then make that same dual-mistake later in the sentence. It happens to the best of us.

And Peter--I basically agree with you, that if we just played better, we'd be way up. I think that goes without saying (nice cop-out, huh?). I'm just saying: We knew if we went 17-13 the yankswould have to go a crazy 21-8 to catch us, and they did that by using every backwards-as luck miracle ever conceived. So if we'd just done a 20-10 we wouldn't be in this predicament.
I find this whole scenario somewhat fortunate, as these yankee fans would not even be watching if they were not in first place. And we wouldn't want them to miss the last week of their season, would we?

Those silver bombs had better go off this weekend, jere, 'cause after that they hit the road. Fenway South (er, I mean Camden yards) and Fenway. Sure, keeping that half game lead is going to be easy.
I was watching the Sox and Yankees games simultaneously at "200 Fifth," a sports bar in Park Slope. Adjacent screens. As has been widely reported, the Yankees victory and the Sox meltdown occurred within seconds of each other. The crossfade from screams of delight (Yankees fans) to jeers of derision (Yankees fans) was almost too much to take. But I've been a Sox fan in NYC for a while, so I'm used to abuse. What was amazing was how IMMEDIATELY, all the obnoxious swagger and bravado returned to the Yankees fans. Suddenly they were marching around the bar, yelling at the top of their lungs, jeering the Red Sox fans... it was both fascinating and sad. Maybe I'm wrong, but there is a trend among the less educated, more idiotic Yankees fans that I just don't see in other cities. Their affiliation with the Yankees, and the pain that the Yankees' success can cause Red Sox fans, seems to be the only source of joy and self-worth in their lives. As infuriating as they were last night, it was also sad. I'm a diehard Sox fan, and I will lose my shit if they blow this, but I don't think I'll ever maniacally march around a bar looking for ways to make strangers feel bad about themselves, in an effort to give my own fucked up existence a sense of meaning and purpose. Memo to those Yankees fans: cheer all you want... even if you win it all, Jeter still won't want to hang out with you.
I was also watching on adjacent screens - my computer & tv - and they were pretty close. I'm not so sure they care about winning OR Jeter; I think they are most focused on causing red sox fans pain. Lording over with superiority. Seriously. An enormous portion of the yankee fan ego is tied to being able to taunt sox fans.
Reb, what would they do with their lives if taunting was not possible. I pity the fools. Boy, that sounds familiar. P.S. PeterN is peter* now. Bye asterisk.

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