These kids in my neighborhood used to play Hungry Hungry Hippos using live ants instead of marbles.

But it wasn't enough for them to have the ants simply be "eaten" by the plastic hippo heads. That would only entail them getting pulled into a hole and falling an inch into a hippo-free safety zone. Then they could go on living, not even really knowing they were swallowed by a fake hippo.

Instead, the kids would fill the base with liquid soap. This way, the ants could experience a more realistic death. Go into hippo's mouth, fall down hole, sink into warm goo for eternity.

Maybe these kids' personal hell will be: Trapped on a giant Hungry Hungry Hippos board with live beasts chomping away at them from four sides. But you really can avoid them by just getting to a spot they can't reach. Then again, what if you filled the entire board with people. There'd be all kinds of pushing and shoving. Mass hysteria. Wow, I should make a movie about this.

Thanks to NU550 for reminding me of HHH.

'nardo goes tonight against John Maine, who hopefully can't get there from here. My school, Nebraska, also goes up against Maine this weekend, on the iron of grid. Weird. I wonder if this is the first time the Huskers have played against a New England school.