Bell-whore.

So Bellhorn's a yankee. Now, I'm not quite putting "dead to me" status on the guy. Hell, even Rich Gedman played with the yanks one spring training, and he's still a cult hero of mine. But, still, whenever I see Mark Bellhorn from now on, I'll see the words "Terrible Job" floating over his head along with those postseason home runs.

What's with him saying that he'll "do whatever the yanks need"? Why couldn't he do whatever WE needed, like, for him to get his sorry ass a sublet in Pawtucket until we could bring him back up for the stretch run?

This is one of the reasons I'll never forgive A-Rod. The way he suddenly was gung-ho about switching positions to play for the yanks. He never told us he'd be interested in doing that, so we could have kept the All-Star shortstop we had at the time. But that all worked out for the good side, and so will this.

I just don't see why Bells would want to have short hair, be boring, play for a loser, etc.

And Brian Cashman, don't even think for a second you're scaring us with your total bullshit, contrived moves. Mark Bellhorn is not Babe Ruth. Not even the drunkest of yankee fans will see my hat today and say "Now WE got Bellstone, bitch! How you like me now?"

But still, once they realize Cano is the rookie that he is, they'll go with Bells, who'll get some key strikeouts right around the time the Red Sox are clinching the division. See, it was a trick. I said the yanks should get Mark, then Cashman, knowing how right I usually am, borrowed Steinbrenner's tapes of my apartment, heard me say that, and jumped all over him. Good luck with that, Cash! Whiff!