I can't call my credit card company without them trying to get me to buy something I don't want. All I wanted was to know the amount I owe on my last bill, since I lost it. But still, before the woman could tell me the amount, she was forced to ask me if I wanted to pay even more money for something I didn't even ask about:

"Do you have roadside assistance?"

"No."

"We can offer it to you for a special trial-period, so you'd be covered in case you ever break down and get stranded on the road...."

That's when I decided to try and end it, hoping that if I tell her that I don't have a car, which will be true very soon, she'd skip the rest of the inevitable "Are you sure"-type questions:

"That's okay, I just sold my car anyway."

"It's free for the first thirty days, are you sure you don't want to sign up?"

At that point, I should have said, "Yes. Yes, I will take it. Maybe after the thirty days, I'll love it so much, just knowing that it's there, you know, since, like I said, I don't even have a car, that I'll sign up for a full year. And every month when I pay my bill, I'll kneel down and thank Jesus Christ, my personal fucking lord and savior that this was offered to me, so that if I ever do buy a car again, I'll already have it, and in the meantime, maybe it'll come in handy if I'm ever walking alongside the interstate, and I lose my shoes or run out of food."

I think I'm giving up on humanity. Or robotity, or whatever species I belong to.