Jesus H. Cristo and Jean Claude!

After the traumatic Clement experience, I had to watch as Mirabelli didn't come through in two key spots, basically stuck in the lineup. And then when Edgar missed that ground ball, I was ready to destroy everything in the room, including Chan. My post was going to be "Edgar, you may still be on the Red Sox, but you're not on my team." And that would've been it.

Oh, except I was also going to say how ridiculous people were on RSN.Net for calling this the most important game of the year, since you can't expect us to win when we have to bring in a pitcher who isn't ready because of a major injury out of the blue.

But those people may be right after all, considering the way we ended up winning.

Tek with the homer to cut it to one, we know he'll always be giving everything he has. But then when we tie it, Olerud has to prove to everyone that he's truly the slowest man alive. The guy was running backwards by the time he, uh, didn't reach the plate. But I didn't know where the hell he was, because the Devil Rays' TV cameras never showed Olerud until he was sliding into home!

So by the time Schil, who looks like he's about ready to go ON the DL with that motion, gives up what looks like a game-winning homer, I'm back at the windowsill, ready to end it all, but not before pulling Chan out with me, punishing him for his pure indifference to this game, which could put his yanks into first place.

Aaaaaaaa!

But anyway, Johnny catches the ball amazingly (I was pretty sure, since you really can't see the ball on the tiny computer screen.) And I'm back on Cloud 80.

And after calling my parents to make sure they were still tuned in (they didn't answer, I have a bad feeling they gave up on this one), I called Rebecca, and while I'm on the phone, I see over at the computer the ball going into the stands. And I'm all "Is this a home run?" And she's all "Yeah!" And I'm all "Holy Shitcakes Mcgee!" Actually, I wish I'd said that.

Then Edgar gets a hit, making me believe that maybe he is trying. But still, it appears we were trying to fight for a win tonight while Edgar was fighting for the other side, to the point where, earlier, I was in that psychopathic mode that used to frighten my ex when we lived together.

But Edgar, when we were one out away, did decide to not fully try on a foul pop. So, whatever, due to the win, all is forgiven. But before that, this was going to be the last straw. So he gets a bonus straw. It's good to be positive.

So much happened in this crazy, ridiculous, game-of-the-year. Unbe-goddamn-lievable. I hope you watched it. I really hope you watched it. Holy crap, dude.

I need some Gatorade.