Since this is the first time in my life that the Red Sox came to my town to play, I naturally went down to their hotel to get some pictures of my favorite players in dress shirts.

It felt a little weird.

In case you forgot whether grown, semi-retarded men who sell autographed material for a living are cool or not, let me refresh your memory. They're not.

These guys are as pathetic as they are repulsive. I almost felt like I couldn't walk around the corner, for fear that they'd follow me, thinking I had some secret info. After a while, some teenage girl Damon fan-types arrived, so I didn't feel like a total asshole. Wow, how often do you hear me make that statement?

I guessed the Sox would be leaving the hotel around three, and I turned out to be right. Within ten minutes, they started coming out. I shot video of some players walking from hotel to hired car: Tek, Mueller, and Millar. Then from hotel to bus: Johnny, Trot, Foulke, Bellhorn, Arroyo, Mirabelli. They all fortunately ignored the autograph-men, siging none of their dirty merchandise. Wait a minute. I just realized I saw only the white guys. Weird. I hope these guys aren't splitting into race-oriented cliques.

Anyway, I'm not gonna post any video stills, it doesn't feel right. If you're a huge fan of any of the above guys, e-mail me if you really want to see a candid shot of your player of choice, and I'll make you up a nice still frame.

Wakefield tonight vs. the Chokers, who have caught up to us way too early, instead of pacing themselves.