Sunday, May 01, 2005

Like A Texan Dryin' Jerky

Nice win tonight. And I got to see it. Bronson, keep on kickin' it you-style. Watching him pitch is similar to watching a pitcher from any Nintendo baseball game, the way the ball suddenly curves left. You watch Bronson's pitches, and you say, "The ball would never move like that in REAL baseball."

After Jason's homer, aka Captain's crunch, a few bottles flew out on to the field. My theory behind this is that it was a "Texas Hat Trick." When the home team gives up three dongs, it's "Toss dem bottles on 'a field, boys." Just guessing.

Actually, were there any Ranger fans at the game?

But back to Bronson. He said something in an interview (played during the game) that I liked as much as his pitching. He was referring to the whole suspension thing (6 games for punching a fan during a play---oh, I mean for throwing at a guy's mid-section, that's right, punching a fan is allowed with no penalty), and he said, "It's like using the death penalty to prevent killing--it doesn't work." (Or, "it makes no sense," something like that.) Good for you, Bronson. And he said this in Texas, too! (where you can be executed for bad-mouthing the death penalty) Anybody who plays guitar, has weird hair, is anti-death penalty, and, what else...oh yeah, is an awesome pitcher who helped the Red Sox win the World Series while I was alive, is, well, my idol.

(Please note that I am not a Jesus person, and while I'm anti-death penalty, I'm pro-choice. Important.)

The Geico Speed Racer commercial is pretty funny. If only because they use Speed Racer.

And does Mark Teixeira--

remind you of Anthony Keidis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

This just proves my theory that life really IS like the Truman Show and I am Jim Carey. They are running out of people so Anthony Keidis now has 2 jobs.
They both look like they underwent failed plastic surgeries. But yes, I do see a resemblance, and I do believe that's a nice bit of observation on your part.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States