Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Both Sams Come Through

Good job, female Sam. We needed to beat your Thigh-gers tonight.

Good job, male Sam. Your Rays kicked the crap out of the lowly yanks.

And whadda ya know, the Orioles lost a game.

I am going to carry a television to the car now. Tomorrow night I will be sleeping in New York City. I will spit on yankee fans from my window. Just kidding. Will only drop anvils.

That reminds me, here's a joke sent in by reader Pete:

A Red Sox fan used to amuse himself by scaring every Yankee fan he saw strutting down the street in the obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and swerve back just missing them.

One day, while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going Father?"

"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest.

"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"

The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Yankee fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him.

But, as usual, he swerved back into the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Yankee fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."

Make the nation proud, soldier. The troops, they need you. We'll be pullin' for ya, especially post all-star break.

And good luck with the move. Moving sucks.

May your Sunday mornings be peaceful from hence forth.
A New York-themed baseball joke. Congratulations on the move, Jere.

Two boys are playing baseball in Central Park, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his bat, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to
interview the boy.

"Young Yankees Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Yankees fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in New York City, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Mets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Mets fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in New York was either a Yankees or Mets fan. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Boston Red Sox fan." the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."

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Location: Rhode Island, United States