Saturday, April 16, 2005

When Chefs Attack

So while we were at the concert, Pat would get Sox-yanks updates on his cell phone. Before Sonic Youth played, the last one we got was 5-5 (with two homers off Randy!). After the show, already psyched about that, we got the final: 8-5 Red Sox. Such a great feeling, when the Sox win a series against the yanks. We got in the car and heard something about someone taking a swipe at Sheffield. What the F, we thought. As we strained to hear the FAN, we pretty much gathered that someone in the crowd threw an elbow at Sheffield, who threw a punch back.

When I got home and watched it on the internet, I was pretty amazed at how weak this "swipe" was. There was no elbow, and it was lighter than A-Rod's slap. And that was before I realized that it wasn't any kind of attempted punch at all. I feel like the dude was reaching down, and then, realizing the ball was way too far down to get, (he shouldn't have been trying to get it anyway) just kind of waved at it, lightly brushing Sheffield, if at all. And on the thousandth look, it seems like the guy is trying to get his hand the hell out of there, after it accidentally made contact with Sheffield.

So after hearing all the talk the next morning, I started getting pissed, because everyone was defending Sheffield, even though, in my opinion, his retaliation punch is the only reason this became an issue at all. And I personally don't think it was spur of the moment. It looks like he feels something on his head, looks up, sees a dude, and takes a shot at him with both hands. During the play. He knows he's not in any danger because right after he throws his punch, he goes right back to the ball. Then he throws it in, and goes back with the intention of fighting with a fan. Only when he sees that no one is or was ever starting to fight with him does he decide not to start going after anyone. Also, a security guard has stepped in at that point.

I think it's another case of someone doing what they're supposed to do, and getting credit for it as if they went out of their way to do it. Except that in this case, he actually did the wrong thing first, then did the right thing. Much like he and Giambi with the 'roids.

One guy, Steve Phillips, came on the ESPN radio morning show and agreed with what I've said completely, but was shot down.

I knew it would be an important afternoon. Mike & the Mad Dog needed to calmly tell everyone the truth, as they were all being fooled by all the other goobers. And I was so relieved when they actually did. And they ripped "Mr. Torre" for his absurd comments that he made after the game, before seeing a replay: "Somebody elbowed him..." (wrong) "...and then somebody dumped a beer on him" (a quarter of a beer, accidentally spilled). Then he said people like that shouldn't e allowed to walk the streets. They ripped him for not coming out with new, correct, rational comments to offset his initial ridiculous response.

Then I heard Dan Patrick saying how Shef will be fined. And to cap it all off, Michael Backwards Kay of all people actually said he thought the dude was trying to push the guy next to him out of the way, not trying to hit Shef at all. He even told off a caller who feared that it was now open season on yankees for "drunken, red-faced, New England vermin." Kay pointed out how there are, of course, bad fans at yankee Stadium, too.

So I think it just took a while, but everybody came to their senses. And I'd probably be doing an anti-beer rant right now if I thought that guy actually did anything bad. But he didn't really do anything.

A total non-story, made into one by Sheffield himself, and then a few crappy sports casters who are trying to improve their careers by having strong, phony-sounding opinions which show that "class" is really important to them. As George Carlin has said, Dudes who point out classiness are really just bragging about their perceived talent of being able to recognize class. "That guy's got class. I recognized it. You probably can't."

Tonight, it was another pressure-free win for me, as I saw Fever Pitch, and got in the car to hear that we were up 10-0. Everybody's hitting now. And with the yanks losing 8-1, it was an 18-1 overall night.

1080 Hartford was back to it's old tricks, almost as non-existent as 630 Providence.

Of course, as is the tradition, the Baltimore station was as clear as if it were being broadcast from the back seat. Fortunately, they were playing the yanks, so I got to listen to the end of that game while avoiding Sterling and Waldman. Bruce Chen does good against the yanks again. The O's have won 3 out of 4 against 'em. The yankees are in deep trouble. Every time they lose this year, I'll think of Kay saying "I don't see any way the yanks cannot win the A.L. East," and Francesa saying oh so nonchalantly, "Oh, they'll win." (the WS)

Oh, and Fever Pitch was really good, I thought.

Tomorrow, it's back up to Fenway for Clement against a Devil Ray who is 0-11 on the road.

By the way, male Sam, I knew I'd get static from you when I mentioned the Rays' "Watch shit happen" slogan. Don't worry, I was just messin' around with the little guys. Also, I bet somewhere there's a porn actor named Ray Stalk who's ready to sue you over the "Rays Talk" name.

Jere, I'll agree with you on the guy not attempting to hit Sheff, or at least, if he did try to do it, it was the lamest attack ever! As for the beer, I'm still trying to figure out if it was on purpose or not. After watching the clip well over 100 times, I still can't see what caused the beer to be spilled on Sheffield. I've heard people say that the woman pulled the guys arm back, but it sure looks to me like the guy intentionally splashes the beer towards Sheffield while trying to make it look accidental.

Either way, keep up the blogging, because yours is one of the few Sox blogs that I find entertaining on a constant basis.

Oh, and I'm showing my age here, but I saw Sonic Youth back in '87 with The Butthole Surfers and it was an excellent show, glad you enjoyed your show!
Like it. If I ever become a porn star, I'm changing my name to Raymond.

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