I'M GOING TO OPENING DAY.

AT FENWAY.

"THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT, MAN, I'M FUCKIN' GOIN'." --JULES WINNFIELD

YES, THIS REQUIRES ALL CAPS.

The power of the internet and the kindness of people, I tell you. I recently put out a joking request for someone to give me Opening Day tickets. "Joking" meaning I thought I had no chance. Long-time commenter Sam replied, telling me (and everybody else, jeez, man. Heh heh.) of someone who had an extra.

Here is a link to Sam's Devil Rays site on Most Valuable Network. Please go there.

From Sam, I was directed to Dave, computer genius of AllBaseball/Most Valuable Network. I proposed a trade: A lot of other tickets for the Opening Day ticket. I thought I'd get a reply saying, "Sure, throw in $100000000 dollars and you've got yourself a deal." Instead, Dave passed my offer over to Evan, who you all know as FIREBRAND OF THE A.L., which has long been his page on Most Valuable Network.

Evan runs MVN, and has recently acquired All-Baseball.com, and now Most Valuable Network and All-Baseball.com are together.

The point is, Evan was kind enough to accept my offer. He had an extra and was willing to trade me. Please go to his site. Stay there for extended periods of time. Tell all your friends. Send him donations. Gold bars are accepted. Again, that's All-Baseball.com. Home of the dude who got me in to the F'n Ring Ceremony and Flag Raising! Against the motherhumping, choking yankees for Satan's sake!

So, talk about gold, I'm in for both Opening Days.

Wow, Most Valuable Network, like the Shitty Beatles and Bad Jack, turned out to be "not just a clever name."

Three of its members showed their value (of most-ness) to this Red Sox fan. Thank you all.

The lineup is now:

Opening Day at Stadium, first two games at Fenway, Hall Of Fame Game and RF roof seats in May, Reds first regular season series game at Fenway and a Pirates game in June, 2 @Cleveland and 1 @ Philly also in June for a five out of eight games stretch, yanks and a field box game vs Minny in July, Monster seats in August, yanks on Oct 1, and a playoff game (if we make it) as part of the 10 game plan. Plus some other games. This is gonna be sweet. I can finally relax for a few days before the season starts. I have the exact tickets I want.

And in the weird coincidences category, you know how I've said I always wanted to be in the background of a famous picture? (If you're the person I was talking to in real life last night, at least you do, if no one else remembers from this blog.) Well, while I was talking to Evan about our trade tonight, he told me he knows a dude who is in the background of Fisk's HR, and has a framed picture of it. Awesome. I think it's funny how I hear that, and get so envious of the person, when I could just look in the foreground of the picture, and see the person who actually has the fame and fortune. The person who the picture is intended to be of. It's like, "Yeah, Fisk rules, but who's the guy with the mustard stain?..."

I'd like to also thank the baseball gods, who, one day in mid-October 2004, came down and said to me, "Dude, we've decided to just go ahead and give you everything you've ever wanted."

But of course, to all the great human beings who were really responsible, thank you first and foremost.

And as I just changed the time and DATE of this post, because it passed midnight, I realized it's April Fools' Day. So if you were wondering, this is not Fool's Gold. This is gold. I am really going to Opening Day.

Also, if anyone has a ticket for my friend Pat.....contact me.

Hey, I'm on a roll, why not give it a shot?