Monday, March 28, 2005

Stare It In The Face

I heard a some of the dreaded Michael Kay's show today. He was talking about Tony LaRussa. At the end of his rant, Kay said that he couldn't believe how Tony and the Cardinals "rolled over and played dead" agianst the Sox in the World Series.

Now I'm a non-violent person. But if I ever see that guy, he better pray somebody holds me back.

I've heard him say things like, "The Cardinals bats didn't show up. And it's not like the Red Sox had a Hall-Of-Fame staff out there." And that was bad enough. But it at least it implied the Sox outhit the Cards. To just say that the whole Cardinal team, who, in my opinion, (that's a key phrase, Kay, think about using it) would've kicked the crap out of the limping yankees, didn't even try, is the type of thing that might get someone else fired.

I was thinking about Kay, and all his lies and his misleading of the audience. At least now, maybe, just maybe, some neutral people who used to buy his crap about the yanks mystical dominance of the Red Sox will now see things differently, and realize he's full of shit.

But knowing that that man cries himself to sleep every night makes me feel good, and I don't need to let his crazy thoughts get to me any more.

F K.

I don't think I mentioned that Chan and I ended up shelling out 75 a piece for yankee Stadium Opening Day tix. They're left field bleachers. Those are good because A. They're not the right field bleachers, 2. They're near the Sox bullpen, and III. They're right behind the monuments. You know ESPN will be talking about the death of the curse as much as they talked about the curse itself in past years. So I'm thinkin' that at some point before the game, a camera crew does that tired routine of walking through the outfield wall door, and showing the Ruth monument. Watch for me right behind it, leaning over the rail of the bleachers, with some kind of sign. Suggestions are welcome.

By the way, what are the yanks gonna do for a ceremony? Some kind of runner-up thing? Famous yanks who almost won from the past? Mattingly's already there. All I know is, when they announce the Red Sox players' names, it's gonna be a raucous scene. I don't think any yankee fans will even have the energy to override our cheers.

The other day, when the yankee game came on the radio, I realized something awesome. I call it "stare it in the face." I realized that hearing the yankee song, hearing the highlights of old Sterling calls, and hearing all the pomp and mystiquerstances, I just listen and laugh. So I guess the visual connotation is a misnomer. Or something. You get the point. I don't have to turn the sound down anymore. I stare it in the face. I saw the Bucky Dent corked HR the other day, and I just smiled with thoughts of '04. All their old victories just fade away. I used to turn away, but in my head, the bad memories would still be there. Now I stare 'em in the face, and they all turn to dust.

Red Sox baseball: It's Fan- yankeesF'nchoke justiceisserved asitturnsoutyou'reNOTabetterpersonthanme -tastic

April 3rd: I'm there with confidence
April 11th: Someone please give me tickets

How about a sign that looks like one the monuments, but with "Mystique" and "Aura"?

It could also say:
Suffered traumatic injuries in 2001, affecting play from 2001-2004. Met an untimely death at the hands of the Greatest Comeback in the History of Baseball.
But if I ever see that guy, he better pray somebody holds me back.

I say this jokingly about celebrities all the time, goofing around, trying to make a point.

But for Kay, I really mean it. Seriously. I don't even consider that a voluntary reaction- I'd be hard pressed not to hear him tell Jim Kaat that pounding down the dirt in front of home plate when Kevin Brown pitches was "cheating" in my head, and that'd just set me off. Or the time he BELLOWED into the mic about how Joe Torre would NEVER do what Francona did, granting an interview during a game to FOX.

Oh man. I actually want to seek the guy out now and harm him...
If you really want a chance to get a ticket to the Fenway Opener, try talking to Dave Cohen, whom you can find here:

He's got an extra ticket for the right field roof, Opening Day, which he bought at a massive markup on ebay. Turns out he can't be there himself, so he's trying to recoup some of his money. He already sold a couple of tickets, and he wanted to sell this one to me. I don't think I'll be available, and I don't think I can stomach the price. But heck, if you've got $500 bucks (or so) to spare, drop him a line.

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Location: Rhode Island, United States