Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The Facts Of Life

A quick note on the White House visit: Look at this line, shown here exactly as it appears on, from Ian Browne's article:

"The Red Sox brought about 18 players to the ceremony, and they stood, dressed nattily, while the [resident spoke to the crowd."

I know that the open bracket ([) is right next to the "P" key on a keyboard, but still, it's hard for me to believe this wasn't done on purpose. And if it was--AMEN! Because he's not the president, just the guy who lives in the White House. God, I hope they don't fix that.

And what's this about dressing nattily? I guess if Mindy Cohn is naked, you dress her. Same with Mrs. Garrett. However, Jo Polnacek can stay naked, even though she did wear a yankee hat in that paint-fight scene, which was used on the opening theme for a while. I know what you're thinking. He'd probably like to see Blair naked, too. Terrible job. Blair Warner is not part of this fantasy.

Also, what's with Johhny Damon being pro-Bush? Come back to us, Johnny, you're drifting.

Yesterday, I got an e-mail saying that I, for joining anti-Dirt Dog Nation, aka the Official Red Sox Nation Mindscan Club, would get a chance to buy tickets to yankee games today. (With a one game limit.) Naturally, I'm still desperately looking for Opening Day tickets, so I was psyched to get this chance, after I'd thought there would be no more. Chances.

So today, at the pre-determined time for we with the logo branded on our backs to go to the secret link, I entered the virtual waiting room once again. An hour and a half later, starving, I decided to go to lunch, leaving the VWR open at my desk. (I was at work.) It was like playing the Range Game on The Price Is Right. I knew I'd have to go to lunch eventually, i.e. miss twenty minutes or so of waiting and watching, but I had to wait long enough to give myself a chance of getting through. But if I wait too long, and come back to find out that I'm already through, well, the page might time out, and if it didn't, I'd know that I was wasting time at lunch while I could've been ordering tickets. (And while other people are buying them all up.) You may be asking, "Why didn't you just bring your lunch and eat it at your desk?" What are you, a wise guy over here? I don't know, because A. They don't let you eat meals at your cubicle and B. That wouldn't look good, considering I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to be ordering baseball tickets at work.

So as it turned out, I played the Range Game perfectly. As I ran back from lunch, I opened the window to see the thirty second clock at about "4". So I figuratively did the Marty McFly, where he bangs his head on the steering wheel in total frustration, as if to say, Come ON, Delorian, you have to start right now, I can't take this anymore. And sure enough, as the clock hit zero, I watched as the VWR let me in to the office of the good Dr. Ticket.

I looked at my choice of yankee games: All available. Except Opening Day. Damn. But at least I can get any other one. Since I'm already going to Game 2, and the October Saturday game, I picked the July Saturday game. Chose best available. Got 4 Standing Room. $20 bucks a pop, plus $3.50 per ticket plus 7 dollar fee. (But they already got my $9.95...) As you may recall, I recently purchased two tickets to three Mets games for a TOTAL of $7 per game.

Not a bad deal, though, considering the demand. And my extreme love of the Red Sox and extreme hatred of the yanks. Bittersweet, knowing I got pretty close to Opening Day. But that July game rounds out the summer nicely. I've got every home Saturday in July, which is my favorite month to see baseball games, because it's hot and sticky. August is good, too. But it's got those "dog days" goin' for it, whereas the underrated July has to get by with no nicknamed days. But they're both good. And don't leave out my birth month of September--two thirds of it are part of summer, but it's considered a fall month. Terrible job, society.

All that's left now is getting tickets to see the Sox in Cleveland, on sale this Sunday at 10 AM, and then rob a couple of banks to get some money back into my account, and I'm squared away for the whole season.

I could have used my vacation time to go to Florida. Or Paris. Or the pyramids of Egypt. "Nah, you guys go ahead, I haven't seen the Sox play in Cleveland yet, so..."

Paris? Pyramids? Those inconsequential places? Bah.
From the pictures I've seen, the boys were all dressed in black/dark suits. The only thing, according to one publication, is that they were wearing "loud ties by White House standards." So yeah, but I don't know if that warrants a tag like natty. I'm no fashion maven: I prefer the functional look myself. And I've never been asked to the White House, surprisingly ... still, I mean, they're baseball players, what did you expect?

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Location: Rhode Island, United States