Saturday, February 26, 2005

Baseball: Making Driving Fun

Much like Lascivious Penis, I mean Randy Johnson, I like driving my car. (In his fifteen-minute-long-yawn of an interview yesterday, that was one of the things he said he enjoys: "I love to drive my car...but I'm no Emerson Fittipaldi..." he said in a boring, droning, monotone voice.) So yeah, I like driving, too. Unlike Randy, it's not on my hobby list, but it's my favorite way to travel, and my favorite place to listen to music or the radio. I'm not a "car guy," though. I don't know why it goes, I just know it does go. And I can put my stuff in there. Lately, driving has been better than ever, because: I'm a Red Sox fan, with Red Sox memoribilia visible on my car, and most other drivers around here are yankee fans. So, for example, the other day, driving down to Chan's place in southern Westchester Conty, NY, I'd pass yankee fans, and just laugh my head off at them. Then I'd get in front of them, and give the three fingers up, followed by the hand-in-shape-of-zero. i.e. "You had a three-zero lead. Three-zero!" I watched one guy explain what I was doing to his wife (mistress, probably) while pointing at the tiny Red Sox helmet behind my back windshield.

It's great to see one of those yankee decals on cars now, because it's like they've got a tattoo of their ex-girlfriend's name: They don't want it there now, but it's there, pointing them out. "LOSER IN CAR! LOSER IN CAR!"

This one girl-woman was in front of me on the beautiful Route 34 here in CT, with a yankee decal on one side of her truck's back windshield, and some car-racing number on the other side (let me guess, the dude who always wins?). The thing about 34 is, you can speed all you want, but the lights and slow people in the left lane (when it is two lanes) aren't gonna let you pull ahead too far. So I started by doing the over-the-top-visual-laughter thing at her. Then she'd speed off, pissed, but by the next light, there I was right behind her again, laughing my ass off. (I had my Sox hat on, so she knew what was up.)

I just can't wait until I see Randy Johnson on the highway.

As you can guess, even if the yankees win every World Series from '05 until the end of time, I'll be cherishing and taking full advantage of this time now. But don't worry, the yankees aren't ever going to win again. On thee on placeth thiseth curse, or something....


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Location: Rhode Island, United States