I have a cousin who tells me that she's good friends with the wife of Brian Johnson, singer of AC/F'n/DC. She lives near where the Johnsons live in Florida, and has partied with them at the mansion that metal bought.

Now that's cool enough right there. But I just read that Brian Johnson attended Johnny Damon's wedding in Orlando.

So what I'm getting at is, am I gonna get to hang out with Johnny Dmaon or what? I need to get down to Florida and see that cousin. Here's how I envision the scenario:

Ding dong. [door opens]

Cousin: "Oh hey cuz, welcome to sunny Florida, come on in."

Me: "Hey, thanks for having me. Where are Brian Johnson and World Champion Boston Red Sox star Johnny Damon?"

Cousin: "They're jamming in the air-conditioned studio on some AC/DC classics. In fact, they need another guitarist, and they specifically asked for 'that awesome blogging cousin from Connecticut'. So go right in. Oh, and there are plenty of those Jax cheese doodles you like, but this is a kind that they make for celebrities that don't leave that orange residue on your fingers."

"Thanks, cuz."

(Isn't it great how the fact the Red Sox are World Champions is the only REAL thing in this fantasy?)

Now about overpriced tickets:

Despite all my bragging about how I always know when yankee tickets go on sale before yankee fans do, I missed that day this year. I swear I was keeping track of when tickets for all the relevant teams went on sale, i.e. the teams that play somewhat near me who also play the Red Sox. But somehow the yanks fooled me this year. They had no mention of single game tickets on their site for so long, and then all of a sudden, they were on sale. I looked to see how long they'd been on sale without me knowing. Four days. Screwed. I tried for opening day, nothing. All other Sox games at the Stadium: single seats only. Crap. So I started looking on the internet sclaper sites, and to make a long story short, I ended up with a pretty sweet deal. 60 bucks a pop for Opening Day, NOT in the bleachers, so I can walk around the whole park at least. I'm psyched. yankee Stadium is now our house, it's gonna so fun to be there this year.

With my ten-game plan at Fenway, I've also got the second game of the year against the yanks, and a game in the final series of the year against the yanks, plus playoff "consideration." So things are shaping up nicely. I just hope the internet tix I got for Opening Day in the Bronx actually are for Opening Day; you never know when you're gonna get scammed.

So everyone google "yankee tickets," look around on the ripoff sites, and buy up all the Sox games at the stadium, we need to continue our infiltration. You're not gonna find 'em for 60, I don't think, at least for Opening Day, I really lucked out on that price, but good luck with all your ticket finding activities, legal or otherwise.

Also, if you want to take a Baltimore road trip, O's tix went on sale a few weeks ago, go to the Orioles site for those, there are still some left for Sox games.