Saturday, January 29, 2005


After only two hours of virtually waiting online and pressing redial constantly on the phone, I finally got through to the ticket office. It was the phone line that came through. It's weird, you get so used to "boo doo weee, all circuits are busy now" that when suddenly you hear the robotic female voice of the Red Sox ticket office, you're totally shocked. And psyched. My heart was beating almost as fast as it was yesterday, when I was trying to type in my credit card info within the three minute time limit they give you. But those were for the 85 dollar seats, today I was goin' upper bleacher, baby. I wanted to get some games where I could go with a foursome. So the 12 dollar seats were key. I got a Jays game in July, and the Reds in June. The Reds at Fenway, crazy! First time since '75, when I was a month and a half old.

This turned out to be a really good year for me for tix. Got pretty much exactly what I wanted. The ten games of the ten game plan, which gives me two Chokers games and a playoff game; a sweet field box game; and two mega-cheap games that I can go to with three other people.

And all this before the yankee tickets go on sale, which are all done by random drawing this year. So the holy grail of the Opening Day game at Fenway is really the last thing I'm hoping for. But I'm on a roll, so I think I've got a shot at being a lucky winner. (Lucky enough to get to spend MORE money.)

Let's talk about these ticket office phone people. The electronic lady who you buy from is okay to deal with, a little annoying, maybe snubbed a lot in life, maybe had a bad childhood. Talks in a monotone voice. Rather bored. But when you hear her, you know you're getting tickets, so it's cool. The guy you get when you call the 877-REDSOX9 number, that's a different story. He seems pissed. I imagine him as Terry Francona, but maybe that's because his voice comes on after a recorded message from Tito himself (hopefully his message will be re-recorded this year so he can say who the World Champions are.) But the voice is kind of similar to his. He's so stern. He says, "For all NON-TICKET related questions, press one." Like he's mad at you for not listening in the past. "Okay, people, listen up, I'm gonna stress the IMPORTANT words cuz' the Boston Red Sox don't have time to fuck around!" I feel like I want to press the wrong buttons just to piss the guy off further. "Pound?! That wasn't even an OPTION! You're banned!"

I'm near Long Island Sound right now, and I have to say it looks amazing. It's weird to see a frozen ocean. The ice looks like snakeskin on top of the water. Very cool. Also cool to be in the summer mindset, getting baseball tickets for July, and looking ut the window at this snow/ice/water world. Totally sunny and clear, but snow everywhere like the Sta-Puft Marshmallow man was just destroyed.

Speaking of water world, you know how that movie was called Fish-tar, because is was a flop, like Ishtar, but took place in water? Well, I was thinking of some other examples of this method. Gone In 60 Seconds: Ish-car. Tin Cup: Ish-par. Coyote Ugly: Ish-bar. Any Woody Allen Movie: Knish-tar.

The problem with that one is that Woody Allen movies rule, so it doesn't fit with the scheme. But some people really liked Ishtar in the first place, so the whole thing wouldn't work for them. Unless you're talking strictly box office money made.(I never saw Ishtar or Waterworld, or those other three I mentioned.) Hopefully Chan finds this funny, because I have a feeling no one else will.


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Location: Rhode Island, United States