Saturday, October 23, 2004

Final Pre-Series Rants

Micheal Kay is a proponent of the whole "Red Sox fans won't know what to do if they win it all/It would be the worst thing in the world for Boston if they win it all" bullcrap thinking.

Yesterday, he took it one step further and said, "Those people would lose their identity. Their team would go from the lovable losers to just ANY OTHER TEAM."

As I've said before, the man needs help. This guy, who claims to be a neutral fan, despite obvious evidence to the contrary, is SO pissed after the yanks blew that HUGE three-zero lead. He was just going crazy the next day. Finally getting to see this man squirm is so aweome. He just whines and whines. After Game Six, he was just in total shock that the yanks didn't come out bunting against Schilling. He was screaming, "I want a reason why they didn't bunt! Gimme answers! I don't care about sportsmanship, you have to bunt!" I think he knew the series was over at that point. (I heard Torre on the radio yesterday, and when Mike & the Mad Dog asked him about bunting, he mentioned that he thought Schilling was faking the whole thing!) Sid Rosenburg answered similar questions by correctly pointing out that the yanks smacked Schilling around a few days earlier, why change their approach? It's so fun to hear these yankee fans complain about this non-issue, just stretching for answers, saying, "The team a few years ago would exploited Schilling's weakness and bunted all game long." Man, that's just classic. It's like, "Yeah, our old yanks would have found a horseshit way of winning by bunting on a gimpy pitcher!" That must make them feel great about themselves. Don't worry yankee fans, your boys still cheat, you saw that A-Rod karate chop, followed by, "Me? I've done nothing wrong. There must be some mistake!" People say he's not a true yankee; I say there's never been a more perfect fit.

But getting back to Kay. So he thinks the Sox would be just another team. First of all, I wonder which teams he puts in the "special" category. The yanks, because they're god's gift to mankind. The Sox, because they're "lovable losers." And probably the Cubs and White Sox, because they haven't won since before we have. So, okay, how can the yanks become "just another team"? Would they have to do the opposite of winning, like, let's say, blowing a three game lead to the "losers" with the World Series on the line? Hmmm.

But let's look at the Boston Red Sox. Do I root for them because they haven't won in a long time? Had they won in '75, the year I was born, would my dad have just said, "Eh, make the kid a Brewers fan. The Red Sox are just another team now. Forget the fact that our family has rooted for this team for decades."? If they win this World Series, will I say, "Thank god we don't have to go to Fenway any more, and see that stupid, average team with no identity as lovable losers."?

The answers to these ridiculous questions, Mr. Kay, is a resounding "Are you fucking stupid?" I'm already delusional about following the Sox around the country next year, whether they're World Champs or not.

Everyone who's grown up loving the Red Sox will still love the Red Sox next year, no matter what. We'll be there at yankee Stadium, out-yelling the yankee fans. Kay is so scared that we just might be screaming "2000" as well.

I don't even think Kay believes this stuff himself. I think he is in so much agony over just the thought that right now, his team are the losers. The lost to the losers, they're double losers. And the thought that there is now a good chance that the Boston Red Sox are going to be World Champs, and there is nowhere for him to run and hide. He'd have to talk about it on the radio, he'd have to admit it. I don't think he can handle it.

Who's really losing their identity, Michael? Might it actually be the fans who are so used to winning, and so used to having that one rival that they can always make fun of, because they're so insecure with their own pathetic lives, that they've joined up with a "winner" to try to feel special? That's what you should be talking about, Kay, how the yankee fans just might lose their identity. I feel it slipping away, Michael. The New York yanks--just another team.

About the Pedro Martinez pitching in Game 7 thing. Okay, the Fox announcers were saying, "Why waste Pedro, you've got to save him for Game One of the World Series?"

Um, okay, well, how can I explain this? Let's see, well, you know how you (Fox) show us pictures of Babe Ruth, show the Bucky Dent home run, show the Aaron Boome home run, show and the Bill Buckner play, and put up graphics that show "Memorable Red Sox Heartbreaks" and "Game 7 Losses"? Not once but dozens of times throughout the series? Well, you can't show us that, driving it into the audience's head, and then act like we've already won the game in the seventh inning! Stupid pitch-missing, too-many-fans'-faces-showing-between-pitches network. And some kid called up the fan and said that bringing in Pedro was a slap in the face, that we'd already won the game. You know what, fine. To hear you say that you felt that the great yankees had no chance to win in the seventh inning, against the LOSER Red Sox, when the MONEY'S ON THE LINE, when you NEVER lose to us, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, is worth it to me. Sure, you're right, the game was over. Slap in the face. Sorry! Choker.

And one final thing: There seems to be this sentiment going around that the second of Mariano's two blown saves in a row is somehow forgiveable. They say how the rule is stupid, and he shouldn't have been given a blown save. And they say, well he came in and got three outs. (one being the sacrifice fly that tied the game.) It even got to the point where I read a column in the local paper, where the writer said, "Then Mariano blew two saves in a row, though in the second one, he was put in a tough spot."

Beep, beep, beep, back up, here. This is the ultimate in seeing how yankee fans always think they've won, even when they've lost. These people call Mariano Rivera the "greatest relief pitcher of all time." And, unquestionably, the best post-season pithcer that ever was. He comes in the game, with the tying run on third. I don't care about save rules, I don't care how tought the situation is. You brought in the best of all time, with the tying run on third, and he allowed that run to score. Tough spot? Damn right it was a tough spot, that's why you fucking brought him in! HE FAILED. Why can't you admit that? What, sacrifice flies don't fucking count all of a sudden? He needed to not give up a deep fly ball, but he did. Blown fucking save. By the best reliever in history. For the second night in a row. In the most important games of the year. Admit it.

World Series starts tonight, and we're in it. It's been sweet going to Bob's, shopping for AL Champs gear, and seeing and talking all the other Sox fans. And just seeing and talking to and emailing other Sox fans in general, and sharing the happiness. Four more games, everybody.


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Location: Rhode Island, United States