"From the Delta yankee press booth, Hello, everybody, welcome to Ricoh yankees baseball! Along with Budweiser's Jon Sterling, I'm Pepsi's Charlie Steiner. That greeting was brought to you, as always, by American Greetings. According to the Longines scoreboard, it's 7:19. That time check is brought to you by Timex. And that means it's time for the Johnson & Johnson first pitch. So I give you Budweiser's Jon Sterling. That announcer trasfer was brought to you by careerbuilder.com."

"Thanks, Pepsi's Charlie, and good evening everybody! Before we start, we'd like to remind everybody about Ricoh. With their patented Scan Square technology, only Ricoh can give you the quality you need. Visa's Derek Jeter steps in to the Yahoo.com batter's box, and the Johnson & Johnson first pitch is at Jeter's Spandex knee guard, but it's called a ball."

"You know Bud's Jon, Jeter really sold that call, that's why he's headed to the Compaq Presario Baseball Hall of Fame. When you have something to sell, click on ebay.com. Ebay. Bring other people's junk home."

"And Pepsi's Charlie, we understand that Visa's Derek has just sold the rights to his intangibles to 1800Flowers.com...."

That's not that far off from reality, people.

The yankee press booth really does have a sponsor.

You know what else is funny, and makes me realize that Sterling is a complete phony? When he does commercials--Ricoh, the LA Weight Loss Diet--he acts like he's describing some legendary baseball player. It's really bad. He's got, like, that loud whisper. And three second pauses between sentences. "Scan Square tecnology..........puts Ricoh......in the WORLD...SERIES......" He's so full of himself.

Pedro will come through tonight. Leiber will not.