Thursday, September 02, 2004

Cash Back Rewards Program

The Red Sox left 14 runners on base. And won. Now we play a dying Texas team, at home, with Pedro, Wake, and Schilling. Everything continues to come up Millhouse. Our cuffs are bone dry. 9 in a row. Castiglione is psyched. And he's now said the name "Dropkick Murphys" more times than all the people his age combined have ever said it.

Going back to the 22-0 game. I heard two different callers on two different sports talk shows say the same thing the day after that game. And they both said it as if it were this great idea that, if stated to the right talk show host, just might muster up steam and get to the Boss himself. And that thing was:

"Steinbrenner should refund everyone's money who went to that game."

If you said that as a joke, in passing, I'd think it was funny, and say, "Yeah, double their money back." But these people were completely serious.

Their money back?

I don't know where to start. So I'll just start with this: If the Red Sox gave me my money back after every huge dissappointment, well, you know what I'd be...

26 world goddamn championships and they want their 20 bucks back because the yanks played a bad game. Why don't you just bring your glove and ask to play if somebody makes a few errors? Or go out to the movies every night, and hey, if you don't like the movie, just ask for your money back. What kind of world are these yankee fans living in?

You know, according to one Simpsons episode, Bill Gates didn't get rich by signin' a lot of checks, and George didn't, either. Do you know what 50,000 times $20 is (and most of the seats cost way more than that, I'm just giving a low estimate)? It's a million dollars. Asking a millionaire to give up a million dollars is like, I don't know, it's like something, but it ain't gonna happen.

For my fellow Bush/yankee-haters: Did you puke up your dinner when suddenly Derek Jeter and the yanks were the stars of the little "featurette" before the w-meister spoke tonight? I kinda like how this election is also Sox vs. yanks in a way. Hopefully the Sox win in late October, and Bush loses in early November.

I wrote a song during Bush's speech. It goes, "You say 'bla, bla'/ I say you're dumb"

Oh but there's more:

I strategically change it up for the second line: "You say 'bla, bla'/I say you're done"

And then the lines repeat a million times. I didn't say it was an epic song.

The magic number is down to 34.


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Location: Rhode Island, United States