Sunday, April 18, 2004

Learn From The Cheater

I can't stand Derek Jeter. This is the guy who's supposedly the class of baseball, the all-time king of hustling and fundamental baseball. All three of those titles were proven false this weekend. And I watch him all the time, I'm not pulling a NY Media deal where they just Red Sox players based soleley on games versus the yanks because those are the only ones they see. But on Saturday, he first missed an easy grounder for the second straight game. Then he took a 3-2 pitch, and decided it was a ball, so he threw the bat away, only to be punched out. And this is supposed to be the guy you teach your kids baseball by having them watch him. Man, I screamed so loud at that piece of crap, I couldn't even hit the high notes on "Get Into the Groove" in the car on the way home. (It was a way-back weekend on some radio station. I also thought it was funny that it was a "yankees suck" weekend on WAAF-Boston). Then in today's game, "Jetes" decided he wasn't gonna slide or even run hard from first to second on a force play where the throw was so far from the bag, it took Pokey like 5 minutes to get back and touch it. Had Jeter given 100--no, 70% on the play, he would've been safe. Did Kay or Kaat say ANYTHING? Nope. I realize all players have mental lapses, but I think it's time everybody stops treating Jeter like a god already.

When I was little, the Red Sox lost a game to the yankees, when, with the score tied in the bottom of the ninth, Willie Randolph walked in the winning run on a 3-2 pitch with the bases loaded. My dad pointed out to me how Randolph deceived the umpire by spinning around to the right, making it seem as if he was almost hit by the pitch and just barely got out of the way--of what could've been called a strike. So is it any wonder that Randolph has been a yankee coach for Jeter's entire career? Jeter's deception method, of course, is the "Whoa, that pitch would've hit me in the knees it was so far inside, as you can tell by the way i stuck my butt out, and quickly straightened my knees, while leaving my hands out over the plate." It really does look, from the position he's in and where the catcher's glove is, that had he not moved, the ball would've hit his knee. Why the umpires are still fooled by this, I don't know. And why does Jeter feel the need to cheat to win? Wouldn't he rather try and win fair and square? I hope people aren't teaching their kids this maneuver. It's almost as bad as the short kid in Little League who would crouch down at the plate so his chest would touch his knees, effectively eliminating his strike zone.

And one more thing: the fist-pump. When I do the fist-pump, you know, in those real life fist-pump necessitating moments, or when I see any other athlete in sports do it, here's what the face says at the moment of fist-pumpedness: "Woohoo! I'm happy about what happened! It could've gone either way, but it went my way! Nice." When Jeter does the fist-pump, here's what HIS face says: "Ahhh yes, just as I planned it. Mwahahaha..."

You can call that confidence, but I call it arrogance. And he'll do it after, like, reaching on a error against the Devil Rays. Sometimes you just gotta put your head down, and accept the fact that you did nothing good, but that someone else did something bad. If, in that situation, you choose to do the fist-pump, do it with more of a surprised and fortunate look, instead of acting like something you did made the other person fail. You know, like when the Sox lose but the yanks lose, too. I don't act like my team won, I'm just thrilled to death that the yankee fans had to suffer that day too.

C'mon, Jeter, quit being such an arse.

God, I can't stand that freakin' guy.


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Location: Rhode Island, United States