Friday, January 19, 2007

Antiques Vs. The World

Seller of old, used, smelly items sues old, smelly homeless people.

ARSFIPT caught up with store-owner Karl Kemp yesterday at Manhattan's world-famous 4th Street basketball courts.


"I can't talk about the suit, we're in the middle of a game here," a panting, goggled Kemp said.

The team knowm as KKA (after the store's name, Karl Kemp Antiques) was locking horns with the juggernaut from PS 226.

"Don't be fooled," Mr. Kemp said of his diminutive competition, "these kids can really ball. We're up by 35, but our goal is to humiliate them to the point of physical tears. KKA comes to play. That's our motto."

Billy McGee, 7, says he won't be intimidated. "I heard they were from an antique shop, so I thought we had a chance. But the height advantage is just too much to ovecome. Plus I'm used to a Nerf ball. If I do get a shot off, it usually falls way short of the rim."

After the game, Carrie Weiler, a teacher from PS 226 and coach of the 6ers, doesn't understand how KKA managed to register for the league normally reserved for 6- and 7-year olds. "We thought maybe they signed up so their kids could play. We get to the court and find five grown men in shorts, ready to take on our first- and second-graders."

A Lesson Learned

Weiler claims it's a good lesson for her students, though. "The parents are saying we should protest the game, but our kids don't want to do that. They gave their all out there today. I don't know what kind of satisfaction Mr. Kemp gets out of taking on and attempting to destroy helpless people, but it can't top the satisfaction we get from giving our all against an unbeatable opponent. Two of our kids are in wheelchairs. For them to put up the fight they did today says a lot."

PS 226's challenge of a game of video basketball was refused by the older squad. "KKA keeps it real, none of that e-bull****" Mr. Kemp said. "We've got to get up to the blind and deaf school for a 3:00 tip-off."


Okay, so the articles I've read about this case say that Kemp really cares about the homeless people, and that he's tried everything else to get them to leave. But it's the "suing them for a million dollars" part that I can't get past.

Comments:
RE: Kemp
If I'm going to keep reading your blog I'd better invest in my first package of Depends.
 

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